7 years journey to life: Day 22: Going to the clinic

Today I went to the clinic in order to check on a problem that i've been having with my physical body for about a week or so. The problem i've been having concerned a bursted pimple which is located at the base of my spinal colomn, just next to the coccyx. Since about a week or so, the pimple bursted and there's been a liquid consisting of puss and blood which have been seaming out of it ever since. The liquid flows constantly without any form of suture around the area of the wound, making it an open wound, and I have to continuously replace a cotton swab just to make it so that the liquid doesn't stain my underwear. It is rather uncomfortable since I have to think about the ways that i sit whenever i am sitting down, in order to make sure that the cotton swab doesn't move even if i have placed gummed paper around the cotton swab.

As I was sitting down waiting for the doctor to call my name, I was wondering on the gravity of my situation - not thinking that it was grave per say, but just wondering if it would mean that I would need an intervention such as an operation in order to remove the abscess completely. I have surfed the net prior to the visit at the clinic in order to get some information on my wound. There I found out that this type of wound, especially if it remains open, generally need an operation in order to remove whatever is causing the puss to form from within the wound itself. Thus, the necessity of an operation where a doctor would open the abscess, remove the material that is causing the formation of puss and then put a mesh of some sorts in order to make sure that the puss wouldn't come out.

So, i was sitting down wondering about all this stuff when I finally got to see the doctor - after having waited for about an hour before being served because of a mistake that the doctor made concerning my family name ( he believed that my appointment had been cancelled because there had been a mistake in my appointment where it was believed that my sister was the one who was supposed to meet the doctor and not me... ). Whithin my appointment with the doctor, he determined that it would be best for me to take on a cream and some medication in order to see if they could heal my abscess. He told me that this type of situation would generally mean an operation, but that before we reached that conclusion, that it would be best for me to take a medication and a cream to see if it could heal the wound. After about a month or so, if the abscess is still there after having taken this method of treatment, then I would need to consider having an operation. The doctor warned me though that if I would need an operation, that it would mean that I would have to wait about 6 months for the wound to close. So right now, the viable solution is the medication and the cream he prescribed to me. I will see in about a month or so if I still need a medical intervention. For now though, I will use the treatment that the doctor suggested to me and hope that it will be enough to heal the wound.

Self-forgiveness on the harm done towards my physical body:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through the usage of substances which are harmfull to my physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to eat sugar in great quantity, not realising that sugar is harmfull for my physical body - therefore, i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the pleasure as the energetic addiction/temptation towards and within the substance abuse of sugar, only so that I may experience a positive energetic experience within myself without considering the harm that the substance such as sugar creates within and as the physicality of and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse substances such as smoking mariuana, only so that i could experience the energetic high that comes with the intake of that substance, not realising that through me taking on that substance, I allow myself to participate within energetic temptations/highs only so that i could experience the positive energy as the friction generated within and as the mind - within this, I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that by me using substances such as mariuana, i allow myself to participate within the nature of the mind as energy and through this, I allow myself to continue on with the abuse of phisicality as life for the expence of mind generated possessions such as the positive entity that is generated through the intake of marijuana, which only lasts for a moment while the damage done to my physical body lasts longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through me taking on substances such as alcool only because of the addiction that I have generated within myself as the temptations of the mind, to within that temptation only seek personal interests/goals of experiencing an energetic experience such as the feeling of being drunk, which is a disgrace and a deliberate attempt at harming my physical body - within this, I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that alcool is harming my physical body and that as such, is to be forever forbidden for it allows the abuse of the physical as life to continue with my allowed participation in the intake of alcool.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through the peer pressure that is generated whenever i am within a situation where I am asked to take on such abusive substances as alcool only so that I may "fit in" with the group - within this, i forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bend in front of peer pressure whenever I am within a situation of abuse towards the physical body, where from within which I would take on the abusive substance such as alcool only so that I would "fit in" with the group.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to arm my physical body through me taking on excessive amounts of sugar even if my body is telling me to STOP within the awareness that sugar is harming my physical body - within this, i forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself from the common sensical reaction/words as the body telling me through pains of all sorts, that the abusive substance such as sugar is harming my physical body and through this, selecting to not listen to my physical body at the expense of the "high" that is awaiting me through the substance abuse of sugar.

I fogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately harm my physical body through the smoking of cigarettes because of the blind addiction towards nicotine which is an absolute harm towards my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek pleasures of the mind while being in total disrespect for my physical body, through me seeking highs from the intake of abusive substances such as marijuana rather than seeking to ground myself within and as the reality of me as the physical body as life - through the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application - within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to "wait for things to get worse" before I decide to actually change in order to do what is best for all through me stopping my participation within the games of polarity as the mind, as the games of winners and losers and re-align myself to and towards the true nature of me as the physical as life as one and equal to all living biengs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as the human physical body to be and become a disgrace to and towards life through me accepting and allowing such participation such as the intake of harmfull substances only so that I can reach new energetic highs at the expense of my physical body - within this, i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that the hights as the energetic experiences that i seek to have only hurts the physicality as me through the constant and continuous consumption of physicality as the energetic highs that I experience within and as my mind.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the "desire for abusive substances" pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as “I want sugar/marijuana/alcohol/abusive substances”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about "desire" through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

7 years journey to life: Day 21: Acting different in front of others that I judge as being “different” than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently in front of those that I perceive as being “different than me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within judgments as the backchat that occurs within me when I see a person that I perceive as being in another class than me, such as a person which is fatter than me, a person which has a different colour of skin than me or a person of a different gender than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within games of polarity based on the physical differences between me and another, such as the physical differences in weight, height, colour of skin and gender, rather than acting equally the same as the principle of oneness and equality towards and with all beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem a person who is heavier than me, such as an overweight person, as being less important than another less overweight being – such has having thoughts within backchat where I would diminish the relationship with an overweight person so as to not express myself unconditionally towards them but conditionally within the self-imposed limits within my expression towards them – such as not looking at them in the eyes or not considering them as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge an overweight person as being “less than me”, thus expressing the consequence-outflow of that judgement as limiting my self-expression towards them as a contrived expression of being uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncomfortable in front of overweight people, where I would deliberately experience negative energies within myself through looking at an overweight person because of the accepted and allowed conditioning of myself as the mind from within which I perceive overweight people as being physically uncomfortable-looking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my sense of discomfort towards people who are overweight because of the belief and culturally accepted perception that an overweight person is a “disgust” and therefore is “disgusting” to look at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgusted when I see/look/perceive a person as being overweight, from within which I experience feelings of negatively charged energy because of me placing myself in their shoes through the filter of the mind alone - within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my mind possession as ego towards and within people whom I perceive/see/look as being overweight, and from within which I manifest within and as myself, the negatively charged energy because of me placing myself as them through the perspective of the mind alone, thereby projecting and living within and as myself as negative energy, my own fears of being overweight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own fears towards and within people whom I deem as being overweight – from within which the fears that I project are culturally born and reinforced through my active participation within and as the mind as separation as spite, blame and judgments towards and within those that I perceive as being different than me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me judging a person as being “less than me” because of being overweight or different than me, I thus place myself as being “less than me” from within which I experience negatively charged energies within and as myself because of me “projecting” my sense of self towards and within another being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my sense of self towards and within other beings, not realising that the mere act of projection manifests within and as myself, the energetically charged entities that are correlated with the culturally/mind consciousness, accepted and allowed perception of another based on their physical attributes such as weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am in front of a women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am in front of a man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am faced with a women whom I perceive as being overweight because of the picture presentation of themselves which I perceive, through the filter of the culturally induced perception as the mind, as being “unattractive” thus experiencing within myself, the feeling of “unattractiveness” as the temporal possession of negative energies that I experience as myself, when I put myself inside the shoes of an overweight women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am within the presence of a woman whom I perceive as being beautiful, through the transformation and manipulation of myself as the modification of my behaviours, stances, glances and mannerisms, only so that I can be positively perceived by the women/girl whom I perceive as being beautiful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am within the presence of a woman whom I perceive as being unattractive, through the transformation and manipulation of myself as the modification of my behaviours, stances, glances and mannerisms, only so that I can be released from the negative energies that I experience within and as myself because of me projecting my sense of self towards and within the women that I perceive as being unattractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automate the judgments I express towards other beings, such as the automation of the “back chats” that occurs whenever I silently within my mind, judge another person/being as being “unattractive” thus “less than the positive experience of myself” rather than stop my participation within judgments as backchat so that I can free myself from the mind possession and transform myself to what is best for all, one and equal to all life and all living beings.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being equal and one with all beings that I encounter in my world/life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to remain stable, within and as the physical, whenever I encounter/exchange/participate within another being in this world – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become instable, such as letting myself be possessed by positive or negatively charged energies whenever I am within the company of a being whom I perceive as being “more than” me or “less than me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within games of “more than” and “lesser than” whenever I participate within the act of exchanging with another being – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-LIE-ve that who I am as self-expression is the result of energy – that who I am as life expression is energy which is never stable but remains forever manipulated by the ups and downs of experiences – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am as life is not of energy which is never stable, but who I am as life is the physical, which remains forever stable HERE within and as life as the principle of Oneness and Equality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am as life, is the principle of Oneness and Equality, as it is common sense that all living beings are equals through and as the needs of the physical – all living beings share the same fundamental needs from within the grounds of equality as physicality as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I as who I am truly as life as the physical, does not judge or separate or participate within games of winners and losers as the mind, but remains stable, unmoved by the energetic possessions of the mind, HERE, one and equal as life as all living beings in the world.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the "judgments of those who are different than me" pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of judgment towards others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the judgment arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the judgment game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in judgment as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about "judging others" through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

7 years journey to life: Day 20: Fear of rejection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being a reject because of not having any girlfriends or that many friends to spend the time with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fact that I do not have any girlfriends as justifications, blame and spite towards and within myself as the judgment of being a reject.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as who I am now, based on the interactions and experiences that I had when I was a teenager growing up in this world, within which I would regularly experience being bullied by my classmates because of the fact that I looked different to what was perceived as being normal by those who were bullying me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to those who were bullying me, within which I would grant them permission to treat me as and within abuse where I would regularly be teased at, thrown stuff at, be ridiculed in front of others – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the interactions I’ve had with those who were bullying me, rather than defining myself according to who and what I am as life as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind, as a means of protection from those who were bullying me, from within which I would spite, blame, accuse those who were bullying me from within the silences of my mind as backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire that those who were bullying me would die before I would, from within which I would entertain surges of positive energy towards and within the thought that I would “outlive them” as a desire of self-gratification from within which I would use the thought of “me outliving them” as being a grounds for my “superiority” as being “more than them” simply because of the possibility of having outlived them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to make myself as being “more than others” because of the overwhelming feeling of being “less than others” which was generated within myself every time I was being teased at throughout my teenage years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within games of “energy” as I would, from that moment on, seek to find ways to make me feel “more than others” as being “more than those who bullied me” through me participating within games of “energy vampirism” where I would later on in my life, practice specific techniques of meditation only so that I would feel “more than myself” as a consequence-outflow from being teased at when I was a teenager.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the game of energy I was participating in as the game of acquiring energy through meditative practices, would generate a “personality suit” of a positively charged entity within and as myself, which would, from the moment where I allowed myself to participate within the game of “positive energy build-up” grow and grow within and as myself up to the point of becoming uncontrollable as the manifestation of the “mental illness” as bipolar disease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “close my eyes” as the act of deliberately shutting down the words of common sense that were busy manifesting within and as my mind as I allowed myself to let the manifestation of the “positively charged entity” take full control of my body, as I would deliberately stop taking care of my physical body for the expense of the “manic experiences” that would be generated within and as me through the “positively charged entity”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the “positively charged entity” take full control of my body, where I would deliberately shut my ears to the common sensical words that would be coming from my physical body as I would enclose myself within the “positively charged entity” so as to experience the temptation as the reward as the positive energy that the “positively charged entity” would make me experience within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by the desire to live an experience of “high” as the experience of “flying high within the mind” as I was experiencing my first manic episode from within which I would deliberately close my eyes to the physical consequences of my mind possession because of being too much enthralled by the experience of “flying high” from within which I would deliberately forget about my physical body’s needs only so that I could continue on with my dependency of “flying high” as the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek experiences of “highs” through meditative practices only so that I could suppress the “lows” as the experiences of being bullied as I was a teenager growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the act of seeking positive energies as the highs that I experienced through meditative practices only suppressed the negative energies as the lows that I experienced within and as myself as I was a teenager growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of seeking positive energy through my active participation within meditative practices only suppressed further and further down the depths of my being, all of the negative energies that I experienced through being bullied as I was a teenager – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the suppression of me as the negative energies of me only accentuated the grounding of and as the mental disorder that was later on diagnosed in me as being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was and am not responsible for the creation of the mental disorder that I am now experiencing as being bipolar, because of the belief that the disorder was genetically passed on to me from previous generations – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility of my mental condition and bring about a cure within and as myself, throughout an active participation within the process of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until the “final minute” before taking action from within which CHANGE will be made possible through my active participation within writing myself to freedom through self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I do the exact same thing to those that I judge as being “less than me” from within which I project unto them my own feelings of rejection – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I treat those that I reject the same way that I was treated with those who rejected me, thus continuing the abuse without making a stop to it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I abuse those that I reject the same way that I was abused by those who rejected me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop my participation within the abuse of another through the act of rejection.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that no one is rejected within the greater picture of life, as life does not reject anyone but allows everyone to exist, one and equal to all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the "fear of being rejected" pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of fear of being rejected, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the fear arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the fear game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in fear of being rejected as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about "rejection" through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

7 years journey to life: Day 19: Redifining Arrogance

Today I want to do something different within my blog. I will specifically have a look at the word “Arrogance” and how it plays out within and as me – how I am currently living the word, what definitions and values I have attached to it. In the end of the blog, I will write self-corrective statements to correct my living expression of this word, so that It would reflect a new definition that is best for all.

I will use a technique that has just recently come to my awareness through the Earth’s journey to life blog, to which has come to my awareness through the reading of a destonian’s blog which have applied the practice. The technique essentially consists of the act of redefining words so that they would reflect a new definition within and as self, as the starting point of change as the words that self uses in order to create this reality, one word/action at a time. Through the application of various methods which are described in the Earth’s journey to life blog, one is able to redefine words that one uses as self-expression so that the word may be free of any polarised charges. For more information on this particular technique and how you can apply it to yourself, just follow the following links:

1) Day 4: Redefining words - Part 1
2) Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) - Playing polarity games
3) Day 6: Redefining words (Part 3) – Experience of the Polarity game
4) Day 7: Redefining Words (Part 4)- Redefining words as living words
5) Day 8 - Redefining words (Part 5) - How to redefine words – Gathering Information stage
6) Day9: Redefining Words (Part 6) How to redefine words – Investigate the word

1. Gathering Information stage

a) Establishing Self’s Allocation point:
I always perceived this word as being a word that would place the one receiving the word in a “upper” or “greater than” position in relationship to the one giving the word out. Within my personal experiences with this word, the giving aspect of this word mostly manifests itself within “backchat” where I internally tell myself “he/she is so arrogant” as reactions towards the words/actions/deeds that another directed unto myself. On occasions where I have expressed this word outwardly, such as when I would perceive the behaviour of a sports player that I didn’t approve, I would yell out “I ate him because he is arrogant” within which I would experience myself as being “less than” the being I would define as such. What strikes me now is that I have mostly used this word within the enclosure of my mind as backchat – not having expressed it outwards that many times towards others. Thus, the giving out of the word “arrogance” is mostly done unto myself within and as my mind, thereby being at the same time, the receiver and the giver of the word “arrogance”. When I am at the receiving end of this word, such as when another tells me that I am arrogant, I usually experience myself as feeling conflicted between the negative charges and the positive charges that are culturally associated with this word. On the positive charge, I then see myself as being “greater than” the person telling me that I am arrogant, because I have associated this word with the state of being “overly confident” or of having “greater confidence” in relationship with another. On the negative charge, I simultaneously see myself as not being a “good person” because of the negative associations I have made towards and within the word arrogant – I do not see myself as being a good person because of having seen arrogant people as being individuals who act for their sole self-interests without any care whatsoever for the consequences of their actions towards others. Thus, either by me being the one giving or receiving the word arrogance, the one constant is that this word generates friction within and as myself which manifests as a feeling of being conflicted between the positive charges of the word – I am greater, more confident than the other – and the negative charges of the word – I am not a good caring person towards the other.

b) Dictionary Definition:

Definition of ARROGANCE:
(1) An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
(2) An insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people

c) Sounding of the word - Arrogance:

“Arror Gance” = Error Glanced – where one glances at a behaviour which is a fundamental error between human’s assessment of each other. When one asses someone as being “arrogant”, one is committing an error of human judgment through perceiving another at a glance, without taking into consideration all aspects which motivates their behaviour. One is arrogant when one acts without full consideration of one’s action – acting at a glance rather than acting as awareness.

2. Investigating the information of the word that has been gathered :
Determining whether the definition within the different aspects that I have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is made “good”/”positive” or “bad”/”negative”)?

a) My own personal experience with the word arrogance:

As I was growing up in this world – as a child – I never really was introduced to this word as it wasn’t a word that I was accustomed at using or seeing. Although in retrospect, I have seen behaviours which I would now describe as being arrogant, I wasn’t then aware that the behaviours that I was witnessing represented arrogance. I generally saw arrogance as the natural behaviour of my father, however not seeing him as being arrogant per say, but rather confident as the authority figure in our household. Within the fact that the word arrogance wasn’t present within my vocabulary as I was growing up, I can still say however that I have experienced the meaning of the word in some particular instances later on within my formative years. One particular experience that I remember where I was at the giving end of arrogance came as I was a teenager. I remember that I was constantly teased by other classmates whom presented themselves as being “more than me”. The way that they would claim that they were “more than me” concerned that they would present themselves as “having more than me”, through games of comparisons and competitions where I was perceived as being the “loser” and them the “winners”. They would allow themselves to bully me through giving themselves the allowances to treat me as if I was “less than them” because I accepted and allowed seeing myself as being “less than” them. I remember that some of the factors which played out in my mind to which they and I used in order to determine that I was “less than them” was the fact that I have brown skin and that I was skinny looking as I was growing up. We both used these facts as determining factors from within which we gave ourselves the statuses of the bully and the bullied. I remember that I was afraid of being left alone with them because of the ways that they would treat me, such as pinning me against my locker and calling me derogative names. Later on in my life, I started using the word arrogance when I perceived within another’s behaviour, the same traits that I have associated with those who bullied me as I was a teenager. Specifically, the traits which brought me to judge another as being arrogant revolved around one’s facial expression. When I would see someone look at me or look at someone else with eyes and smile that would make me reminisce those who bullied me, I would judge them as being arrogant within which I would experience myself as the same feeling that I experienced when I was bullied, which was the feeling of being “less than another”. Even when I was at the receiving end of the word arrogance, as was the case when another would call me arrogant – as it was the case a few times when I was within a competitive activity with a friend – I still generally experienced myself as being negatively charged within and as myself. The only few times when I didn’t experience a negatively charged reaction within myself through another calling me arrogant came when I was actually seeing myself as being “more than others”. Such instances generally came when I experienced manic episodes – a symptom of my condition of being bipolar – or when I actually felt as being the “winner” in front of another. So basically the word arrogance was mostly negatively charged throughout my lifetime.

b) Self-Forgiveness on the word arrogance :

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear arrogance within the belief that I am always on the giving end of the word arrogance within the relationship with another – from within which I experience myself as being negatively charged, or “less than” another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as being “less than another” whenever I hear the word arrogance through me still holding onto the negatively charged experiences that I lived as I was a teenager in this world, where I was regularly bullied by others through our tacitly agreed upon statuses as the bully and the bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “less than” those who present themselves as “having more than” me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am now is a manifestation that is emerging from the starting point of separation and thus, everything I do and say supports separation which means that I cannot do freely what I want but instead I have to take self-responsibility in establishing myself within the directive principle of living what’s best for all within the realization that I am not separate from anyone or anything else but am one and equal to all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “less than” another because of the tone of my skin or the appearance of my being and through this, having blamed life and myself for the predicament that I am in within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and life as my physical body for the judgments of others towards me – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the judgments that others have against me are the same judgments that I have against myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against my physical body and life in general for having given me the physical attributes which others use in order to make them “more than me” through the act of arrogance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into hiding within my mind whenever I hear/see someone who is behaving in ways which are arrogant and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to act as CHANGE in my behaviour whenever I am in the presence of someone who express the traits of arrogance towards me or someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself against the behaviour of someone who exhibits arrogant traits because of the underlying belief that the person is right in his ways of arrogance because of me seeing them as being “more than me” and me seeing myself as being “less than them”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being “less than” those who exhibit traits of arrogance – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep silent whenever I experience the feeling of being “less than” another which allows the abuse to continue through arrogance.

c) New definition:

Arrogance is the behaviour of someone who is acting without consideration of the consequences of its actions towards others as itself. A person is arrogant – Error Again - when it expresses behaviours which are based on the perceived possessions of that person as being “more than” those of another, which is an error that is repeating itself as long as the person participates within games of “winners/haves” and “losers/have nots”.

d) Self-corrective statements in how I practically will walk the stoppage of arrogance within me

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the "arrogance" – Error Glanced - pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of arrogance "I am more than another" or “I am less than another”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the arrogance arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the arrogance game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in arrogance as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.


I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about "arrogance" through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to stop “glancing” at the behaviour of another and from there, stop judging another according to a “glance” without the consideration of all of the person’s past within my perception of another.

I commit myself to stop using arrogance in front of another, as the act of perceiving myself as “having more than” or “being more than” another, while basing my perception on what separates me from another, such as what I have that the other does not, rather than perceiving me as that which is equal and one with another, as the physical as life.

I commit myself to stop looking at the possessions of another in my assessment of another.

I commit myself to stop any and all experiences of wanting more than I can handle where within that I first stand in complete clarity within myself and my immediate environment.

7 years journey to life: Day 18: Oversleeping

This morning when I woke up, I still felt overly sleepy as if I hadn’t had enough sleep during the night – which seems unreasonable since I usually sleep in the vicinity of 10 hours per day since about 8 months or so. The reason why I am sleeping as much is in direct relationship to the medication that I have been taking for the past months. I have been diagnosed as being bipolar – to which I have already commented on some of my previous posts – and am forced to take medication in order to control the condition.

However, one of the side effects of the medication is that I tend to oversleep because of the induced sensation of drowsiness that comes with the intake of the medication. I usually do not feel the effects of drowsiness when I wake up, primarily because I allow myself to sleep as long as I feel sleepy – being that I currently do not have a job or any social obligations that would force me to wake up at predefined moments. However, I am currently planning on waking up sooner than what I have accustomed myself to for the past few months, being that I usually wake up around the vicinity of 1 pm. I want to wake up sooner because I am planning on re-joining the working environment shortly. The problem that I am thus facing concerns the fact that the medication that I am taking makes me sleep more than what would be sufficient.

I never liked taking the medication that has been prescribed to me in order to treat my mental condition. Ever since the first prognostic of bipolar disorder back in 2003, I have passed many years without taking the medication. The fact that I didn’t perceive my condition as being an illness played within my decision to not take the medication. Also, I wasn't followed by the medical corps within the years prior to the end of last year, meaning that I wasn’t regularly checked by any psychiatrist prior to the end of 2011. This situation has changed however, since I now am ordered by court to have regular visits to my psychiatrists in order to ensure that I take my medication. Thus, I currently have to take the medication even if I feel physically worse with my medication. So, the problem I am now facing is that in order for me to function properly within society, it has been deemed by the medical corps that I have to take my medication in order to control the bipolar disorder. The side effect of that is that, like I said earlier, I feel generally drowsier when I wake up, not discarding that I also feel less energetically active with the medication running rampant within my system.

Coming back to the drowsy feeling that I experienced when I woke up today, what I experienced was due to the fact that I forced myself to wake up before I completely felt fresh and awake – to which I will have to enforce as the day will go along because I am planning on reintegrating the working environment soon. Thus, the problem I am facing is that I have to take the medication even if it makes me feel sleepy when I wake up. The fact that I want to wake up earlier in order to instil a new habit of sleeping comes into conflict with the reality that is generated by the medication that I have to take. Thus, since I have to take the medication, I’ll have to force myself to awake sooner and sooner until I reach my goal of waking up at around 8 am before I’ll feel comfortable in re-joining the working environment.

What the situation that I experienced this morning has brought to my awareness however, concerns the act of sleeping in itself. The fact that I usually oversleep, even if it is induced by the medication that I have to take, shows that I am in a way, having a will to hide from my responsibilities as a human being, preferring to remain in bed rather than face what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind. Thus, I will have a look at the act of sleeping itself throughout the application of self-forgiveness in order to release myself from the unconscious desire to not face what needs to be faced if I am to be consistent with my commitment to bring about what is best for all life.

Self-forgiveness on sleeping/oversleeping:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oversleep because of the unconscious desire to remain in bed rather than facing my reality for what I have accepted and allowed it to become as my world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of oversleeping is an act of abuse and dishonesty because through this act, I am stating that I do not want to change who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become which is a being of abuse through the constant participation in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “not want to change” through me oversleeping or staying in bed even if I am consciously aware of being awake – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of oversleeping means that I “do not want to change” thereby stating that I prefer remaining engulfed within my own little bubble of dreamlike fantasies rather than opening my eyes up through the bursting of my little bubble in order to see/understand and realise what needs to be done in order to bring about a world that is best for all life, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the medication as a justification that supports the condition that I do not want to partake in any longer, although stating through the mere act of waking up late that I still want to partake in the condition that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me staying in bed late, I am being dishonest with my statement of change because of continuing within the patterns of “shutting my eyes at the world” rather than bursting my bubble of comfort so as to bring about real effective change in my life and in the world at large.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleep as a means to hide myself form my responsibilities towards myself as the physical as life, thereby wallowing within worlds of fantasies rather than waking up from the slumber and hypnosis of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sleeping less because of the fear of having too much time on my hands, now that I am currently out of work/job, if I am to wake up sooner within my days.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that by sleeping less and less, that I will have more opportunities to self-correct through self-forgiveness because of having more “awake time” on my hands, from within which new perspective/points will emerge for me to apply self-forgiveness in order to bring about real effective change for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to favour sleeping over waking up in the morning because of the fear of having to spend more time alone with myself in full awareness, not realising that the more time I have to face myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the mind, the more I will have opportunities to CHANGE for what is best for all life – through the process of self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I only need between 4 and 6 hours of sleep per night in order for the physical to feel refreshed and ready to face the day.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reason why I prefer sleeping than being awake is that I fear the day as the moment where I have to make decisions and actions for the survival of the lifestyle that I have accustomed as being my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel drowsy when I wake up sooner than I usually do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself within this current self-forgiveness statement because of having difficulties in finding specific points in regards to the act of oversleeping – whereas I become redundant and repetitive within my statements just so that I may reach the point I have set out for myself which is to write as much self-forgiveness statements as possible just so as to show that I am applying myself – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that it is not about the quantity of self-forgiveness statements that I can make, but the quality as the “real” as the true “self-reflecting points” of self-forgiveness rather than points that are not the expression of what is currently HERE as the honest expression of myself HERE within and as the physical as what emerges from moment to moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to remain true to the points which are emerging from moment to moment as points of self-forgiveness, even if they are not perceived as being related to the subject that I am focussing on at a given moment of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that sleep is not necessary as it is the expression of the desire of mankind to not face what it is that we globally create within this world – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep as a systematic mechanism that represents the will of mankind to let things as they are, meaning to let the abuse of life continue as it is without us intervening in order to change this system of abuse towards a system that dignifies life such as the equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep more than what is necessary just because I “like” being in a dreamlike state – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “like” a mind generated state which is abusive in nature for it allows abuse to continue in this world while I remain silent and inactive within the grasp of slumber and sleep.

I commit myself into bringing about a world where life is dignified and where money serves life rather than life serving money.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the "oversleeping" pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of oversleeping as "I am too tired to wake up", I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the slumber arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the slumber game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in slumber as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about "sleeping" through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

Je t'aime... même si

Ce qui suit est un texte que j'ai écris au début de l'année 2009. Il ne s'applique pas exactement à ce que je vis présentement, mais j'ai trouvé qu'il pourrait servir ceux qui pourraient s'y voir. En le relisant avant de le publier, je l'ai perçu comme étant un beaume potentiel pour l'esprit. Peut-être alors pourra t-il aider ceux qui traversent des moments difficilles.

____________________________________________________________________________

Je m’aime, même si… Voici ma nouvelle philosophie. Aujourd’hui, j’ai décidé que j’en ai FINI des pensées suicidaires. Maintenant, tout ce qui alimente mon esprit est et sera des pensées positives. J’ai finalement réalisé ce qui me manquait à ma vie. Il me manquait l’affection que j’attendais des autres. Je recherchais constamment l’approbation des autres lorsque j’étais en compagnie de personnes proches. J’ai réalisé que le pouvoir que je leur donnais, je pouvais me le donner à moi-même. Et présentement, ce pouvoir est EXACTEMENT ce dont j’ai de besoins.

Tu as besoins de quoi au juste? Bien que JE m’accorde ce que j’attendais des autres. Je suis le pourvoyeur de tout ce dont j’ai de besoins. J’ai réalisé que L’AMOUR est ce dont je demandes à travers toutes mes actions. Ainsi, puisque je demandes de l’amour en retour de TOUTES MES ACTIONS, je suis LE SEUL à pouvoir m’octroyer ce don puisque je suis LE SEUL qui soit en mesure d’être présent face à TOUTES MES ACTIONS. Les autres ne peuvent être constamment à mes côtés pour me dire « je t’aime » après chacune de mes actions. Seul moi est en mesure de me donner ce don. Alors, aujourd’hui j’ai décidé de me le donner ce droit et ce, indéfiniment.

Je me pardonne de m’avoir permis d’accepter de me projeter dans le futur en train de me dire « je t’aime, même si… » alors que cela ne fonctionnera plus. Je me pardonne de m’avoir permis d’accepter que la pensée « je t’aime même si… » và éventuellement perdre de son entrain. Je me pardonne de m’avoir permis de croire que je vais éventuellement perdre quelque chose à me répéter cette pensée.

« Je m’aime, même si… » est la formule à utiliser à toutes les sauces car comme me l’a démontré ma pratique du pardon de soi, c’est en étant SPÉCIFIQUE que je parviendrai à reformuler ma programmation en faveur d’un nouveau script dont JE SUIS le créateur. Ainsi, c’est en répondant à toutes formes de pensées par l’usage de cette formule que, le mal serait défait. En y incluant de la place pour la part de négativité en moi – permettant ainsi une portée totale de mon esprit par cette formule – le fait de dire « même si… » attribue une nouvelle manière d’agir et de voir à la totalité de mon esprit, puisqu’y incluant même les aspects qui me rendent plus « lourd ». La légèreté que j’éprouve à l’application de cette pensée, est la conséquence du placement de deux charges énergétiques différentes à l’intérieur d’une seule et même pensée. Ainsi, en respectant à la fois l’aspect négatif en moi – soit l’aspect qui critique une action de ma part ou l’aspect qui attend une réponse d’un autre ou de l’extérieur – et l’aspect positif – « je t’aime… » - je viens à annuler les deux charges pour me placer ouvert à la présence totale d’être, soit l’endroit où l’attention ne diverge aucunement et se fixe sur le moment présent. Ce n’est qu’ainsi que vais parvenir à retrouver ma passion pour la vie, soit une passion universelle qui se situe au carrefour où le présent rencontre l’être « JE SUIS ».

Alors, dorénavant, ma philosophie vient de changer pour toujours! Je dis OUI À LA VIE même si je doute que cela va durer indéfiniment. Je m’aime même si je doute que cette formule sera efficace indéfiniment.

Tout ce qui me reste à faire, est de continuer à appliquer cette formule sans aucunes attentes ni dépendances. En étant et demeurant ici maintenant, sans pour autant me formuler des attentes autres que celle de me dire « je t’aime » tout simplement, j’assure l’efficacité de cette pensée. Je suis ici et maintenant même si je doute que j’y suis à cent pourcent.

Liste de Je T’aime, même si…

1)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es laid

2)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as pas beaucoup d’amis

3)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es seul dans ta chambre

4)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu écris que pour toi

5)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu ne sais plus quoi écrire

6)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu te perds dans ce que tu écris

7)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu as de la difficulté à maintenir ta concentration

8)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que cette pensée peut s’épuiser

9)      Je t’aime Alex, même si tu projette l’épuisement de cette pensée

10)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu doutes de l’efficacité de cette pensée

11)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as pas beaucoup d’amie fille

12)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as pas d’amie fille avec toi actuellement

13)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que tu as besoins d’une fille dans ta vie pour être heureux

14)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que tu as besoins d’une condition quelconque pour être heureux

15)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu as de la difficulté à trouver des points spécifiques à pardonner

16)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu as souvent tendance à te perdre dans tes idées

17)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es dans la lune

18)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu te perds dans ta bulle

19)   Je t’aime Alex, même si les autres ne te rendent pas ce que tu recherches d’eux

20)   Je t’aime Alex, même si les autres ne te disent pas que tu es beau

21)   Je t’aime Alex, même si les autres ne te disent pas qu’ils/elles t’aiment

22)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Marielle, ta mère, ne te dis pas que tu es beau

23)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Marielle, ta mère, ne te dis pas qu’elle t’aime

24)   Je t’aime Alex, même si les autres te regardent de travers

25)   Je t’aime Alex, même si les autres ne te regardent pas

26)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que les autres te sont indifférents

27)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es indifférent aux problèmes des autres

28)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu t’en veux de ne pas être plus altruiste

29)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu as eue de la difficulté à t’exprimer dans ton passé

30)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu as de la difficulté à trouver le mot juste pour t’exprimer

31)   Je t’aime Alex, même lorsque tu doutes de moi

32)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es dans le doute

33)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu ne réussis pas ce qu’on te demande de faire

34)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu ne veux pas faire ce que tu fais

35)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es seul

36)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as pas d’ami

37)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Raphael dans ta vie

38)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus David dans ta vie

39)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Karine dans ta vie

40)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Nicolas dans ta vie

41)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Bruno dans ta vie

42)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Olivier dans ta vie

43)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Rémi dans ta vie

44)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Marc-André dans ta vie

45)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Daniel dans ta vie

46)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Mathieu dans ta vie

47)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Maryse dans ta vie

48)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Henry dans ta vie

49)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu n’as plus Marielle dans ta vie

50)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Fannie ne t’aime pas

51)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Marielle ne t’aime pas

52)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Maryse ne t’aime pas

53)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Nicolas ne t’aime pas

54)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Mathieu ne t’aime pas

55)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Daniel ne t’aime pas

56)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Marc-André ne t’aime pas

57)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Rémi ne t’aime pas

58)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Olivier ne t’aime pas

59)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Raphael ne t’aime pas

60)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Bruno ne t’aime pas

61)   Je t’aime Alex, même si David ne t’aime pas

62)   Je t’aime Alex, même si Karine ne t’aime pas

63)   Je t’aime Alex, même si personne ne t’aime

64)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu ne vois rien à aimer en toi

65)   Je t’aime Alex, même lorsque tu ne fais rien

66)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu ne sais pas quoi faire

67)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne sais pas quoi écrire

68)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne sais plus quoi écrire

69)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne sais plus quoi dire

70)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne sais pas quoi dire

71)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne dis rien

72)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je me trouve laid

73)   Je t’aime Alex, même si j’ai une barbe

74)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne porte pas ma casquette

75)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je portes ma casquette

76)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je n’écris plus

77)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je n’écris pas pour me le dire

78)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je crois que je dois écrire que je m’aime pour me donner de l’amour

79)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je doute que de me dire simplement « je t’aime, même si… » en pensée est suffisant pour que je m’aime

80)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je crois que je dois ressentir quelque chose de particulier une fois que j’ai fini de prononcer mon amour en pensée

81)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je crois que je dois avoir quelque chose en retour de mes pensées d’amour

82)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne ressens absolument rien en retour de mes affirmations d’amour pour moi sous la forme de « je t’aime, même si… »

83)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je n’écris plus mes pensées spontanées sous la forme de « je t’aime, même si… » pour l’instant

84)   Je t’aime Alex, même si j’ai terminé d’écrire combien je m’aime pour l’instant

85)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je dois revenir en arrière dans une phrase pour apporter des corrections

86)   Je t’aime Alex, même lorsque tu dois te corriger de quelque chose

87)   Je t’aime Alex, même lorsque tu te corrige dans une pensée

88)   Je t’aime Alex, même lorsque tu doutes de ce que tu es en-train de faire

89)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que tu dois dire « JE » plutôt que « TU » à la place de l’interlocuteur dans tes pensées ayant la forme de « je t’aime, même si… »

90)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que tu dois t’adresser à « tu » plutôt qu’à « je » dans tes pensées d’amour sous forme de « je t’aime, même si… »

91)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu crois que tu en as fini de tes affirmations pour l’instant

92)   Je t’aime Alex, même si je ne suis pas un pattern quelconque dans mes écritures

93)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu ne suis pas un pattern quelconque dans tes actions

94)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu es triste de constater que ta routine n’a pas changé sous l’effet de pensées d’amour

95)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu t’attends à ce que tout change maintenant que tu t’affirme avec amour en tes pensées

96)   Je t’aime Alex, même si rien ne change suite à ces affirmation d’amour envers moi

97)   Je t’aime Alex, même si tu as personne avec qui partager l’intimité de ta vie

98)   Je t’aime Alex

Je t’aime, même si… je ne souris pas à la fin de ma phrase

Je me sens définitivement plus léger à me parler de cette manière. Si ce n’est seulement que pour ça, ça en vaut la peine de continuer sans relâche. Je m’aime, AVANT tout.