I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel
depressed because of not having received the call from a new girlfriend that I
was expecting to call me, wherein I would churn within my mind, asking myself
the question if I was good enough for her, if my voice was good enough for her
because of only having communicated with her through the phone and where I
haven’t met her yet – wherein I have judged her only based on her voice and
what she told me over the phone and at the same time by the same token, wherein
she have only judged me based on my voice and what I told her over the phone,
considering that I had not expressed myself in a good enough fashion so as to
“please her” over the phone, because of the fact that she hasn’t called me at
the time where she told me that she would have called me – and where I was
brought to believe, because of that fact, that she wasn’t interested in me
anymore – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to judge her rather than not participating within judgment through me remaining
stable within and as the breath. I now see/realise/understand that who I really
am is not the fabric of judgments and that such a fabric is only dependant on
the acceptances and allowances of the mind as who I believe myself to be rather
than who I really am as life as the physical, One and Equal with all living
beings – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed
myself to realise that I was participating within the polarity of the mind
within me feeling depressed because of not receiving her call when I was
expecting it, thereby expressing myself as the negative energy experience of
myself as the feeling of depression in contrast with the positive energy
experience of myself as the feeling of being ecstatic.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand
that by me accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as being
ecstatic/positive that I automatically allow myself to experience myself as
being depressed/negative within another given moment as the game of polarities
of the mind seek out balancing acts in order to balance out the play outs of my
participation within energy – where the expression of myself as positive energy
automatically generates a counter movement going from the positive to the
neutral to the negative energy, in order to balance out the inequalities
between both energies within and as my mind, instead of realising the abuse in
such participation within energy as the mind and stopping such participation
within abuse. If and when I see myself participating within energy as the mind,
I stop, BREATHE, see if I have a point that I have missed or haven’t considered
forgiving myself about, if so, I self-forgive my participation within such a
point and apply the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and
self-corrective application until such points gets released from my physical
body as that I remain STABLE HERE within and as myself within and as the BREATH
as who I am in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish the
impression of myself within that I allowed myself to experience myself within
negative energy as the deception that I experienced within myself when, from
within the past few days, I was waiting for her to call me, wherein the call
never came until today where as I was waiting for her to call me, I allowed
myself to experience myself as depressive because of the feeling that I had of
being rejected by her, because of my past experiences with girls where the
outcome turned out to be negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel
ecstatic about myself now that I have received the call from the girl I was
expecting to call me, wherein I felt a release within and as my solar plexus
when I received her call just a few moments ago, as I felt the energy swell up
within myself, going from the negative to the neutral to the positive, so that
it reached the state of the feeling of ecstasy within myself – within this, I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in such a way that the
feelings were generated automatically within and as myself, through my accepted
and allowed participation within feelings ever since I was born, instead of
realising that life is not a feeling as a feeling is a programmed emotional
response to an outer stimuli for the purpose of the enslavement of beings. I
now see/realise/understand that who I am is not a positive or negative feeling and
that if I see myself participate within such construct of the mind, that I
stop, BREATHE, see if I have a point that I have not yet considered within
self-honesty, apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so that I
stop such participation within the mind and become a living example for what is
best for all, Equal and One with the physical as Life.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective
application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living
example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for
the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for
everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If
and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “energy
participation” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of
me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me
and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When
and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the
thought of “wanting for a girl to be with me”, I stop, breathe, see if i have
missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire
arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct,
if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response
to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I
commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring
to be with a girlfriend through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas
and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and
losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone
outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as
the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I
commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness,
self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop
judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally
for the first time.
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Journey to Life blogs
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