I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel
depressed today because of the accumulation of days passed where I was alone in
my home, whereas I have spent all week alone with myself with no one with whom
to communicate with, instead of realising that I am always alone with myself,
whether I am with someone or not – that I am never more than alone with myself
and that as long as I do not feel comfortable with myself, whatever
circumstances, that I am thus still controlled by the perception of the mind as
being made of energy where I seek/need to feed the energetic entity as
personality within myself so as to feel “secure” and “comfortable” and
“positive” whereas I participate within the exchange of positive energies when I
am in a relationship with someone and that I don’t participate within the
exchange of positive energies when I am alone with myself. Within this, I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to feed myself
through the intake of “positive energy” through the relationship with another,
whereas I participate within exchanges of energy when I am with someone else,
rather than realising that whenever I accept and allow myself to participate
within the positive exchange of energy with another being, that I am permitting
through my acceptances and allowances as my participation within the exchange
of positive energy with another, that I am thus permitting myself to experience
myself as “negative energy” whenever I find myself being alone with myself,
without the supportive exchange of positive energies that I experience within
myself when I am with another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive the
accumulation of positive energy that occurs when I am with the company of
another being, as being something which is supporting me, instead of realising
that what the company of others supports within myself in such circumstances,
is only the belief/idea that I am of the mind as being a being made of energy,
and that such a perception is truly not supporting who I really am as the
physical as life and that as long as I believe/perceive/feel the experience of
myself as positivity when I am with another being, that I am thus reinforcing
the illusion of me as that of being the fruit of the mind as energy, instead of
releasing myself from such an illusion through the stopping of all of my
participations within the exchange of positive energies with another, so that I
stop myself from being controlled by feelings/emotions/thoughts and to become a
real human being which is equal and one with and as the physical as life as who
I truly am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted
to energy, to the extent where I feel bad/negative within myself when I do not
experience the positive charge of positive energy, whereas I have become
addicted to energy to the point where I experience myself as being
“negative/depressive” whenever I do not experience positive exchange of
energies within myself, such as when I am with another person – instead of
realising that because of my addiction to positive energy experiences, that I
automatically invite negative energy within myself so as to balance out the
energy equation that gets unbalanced as
I participate within the exclusivity of positive energy, and that in
order for me to stop experiencing negative energy within myself, that I have to
stop all my participation within positive energy through me returning to who I
am HERE within and as the breath as that which doesn’t need energy to
exist/survive as the eternal foundation of myself as myself as
physicality/life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise
that because I accept and allow myself to participate within the positive
exchange of energies when I am with someone, that I thus automatically will
experience myself as being negative when I am alone with myself – because of
the balancing act that occurs within the energies as the mind within myself,
where my mind automatically seeks balance wherein as I experience myself as
being positive in a moment, that I will automatically experience myself as
being negative in another moment, and that because I accept and allow myself to
“swell up” as the accumulation of positive energy within myself when I am with
someone else, that as soon as I remove from the equation the fact of being with
another person, I will eventually surely experience myself as being negative
within myself when I am to be found alone, because of having associate the
surge of positive energy when I am with someone else which automatically
associate the release and dispersing of positive energy when I am alone with
myself, thus experiencing myself as being negative when there is no one around
and with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like if
there is a ball of negative energy within and as my solar plexus area when I am
alone with myself for a too long period of time, because of the accumulative
effect of negativity which compresses and compresses and compresses within and
as my subconscious/unconscious mind/physicality as the accumulation of time
when I am alone with myself, which results in me feeling like shit when I have
accumulated too much negative energy which is experienced when I spend too much
time alone with myself – such as the case of this week when I have passed more
than 5 days all alone with myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t
accepted and allowed myself to be fulfilled within myself as I should be within
and as the physical alone = without the interference of the games of the mind of
positive and negative energy exchange – but that I am not because of my allowed
participation within the games of the mind as the exchange of positive energy
when I am in a relationship with another person and the release of negative
energy when I am alone with myself = no direct relationship with another
person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like
shit within myself when I am alone for too long with myself, where the
accumulation of negative energy becomes so overwhelming, that I “fall” towards
and within the negative energies within myself so that to become depressive
with the company of myself all alone – within this, I forgive myself that I
haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am always alone with
myself and that the feeling of negativity that I experience within myself when
I am alone without anyone to exchange energies with, is only a symptom of my
participation within the games of the mind as the exchange of energies with others,
and that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within such games
of the mind, that I will remain enslaved to the mind as the mind will remain
the self-directive principle of me in my world, as the abuse and misuse of
physicality/life will thus continue – unless I stop myself from participating
within such games of the mind, through me stopping myself from experiencing
positive energy when I am with another person, through the tools of breathing,
self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and
self-corrective application. If and when I see/experience myself about to move
into the feelings of positivity when I am with someone, I stop, breathe and I
remind myself that it is a game of the mind that I no longer want to
participate in and apply self-forgiveness in the moment within and as
self-honesty as who I am as the breath.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be
comfortable within self-intimacy as myself when I am alone with myself, instead
of continuously seeking to be with someone so as to satisfy my culturally
inserted definition of intimacy and thus feeling bad/depressive within myself
whenever I am unable to satisfy the conditions of that self-imposed definition
of intimacy, instead of building my self-intimacy up from within the starting
point of self as all as ONE as Equal - whereas the full realisation is absolute
within the fact that I am and will always be alone as self - through the tools
of self-investigation, writing and through the application of self-forgiveness,
self-honesty and self-corrective application, whereas the more I apply myself
within those tools, the more I will build self-intimacy and self-trust as
myself and return to the innate comfort of being with myself alone, rather than
my comfort and self-fulfilment being dependant on others, which is only
furthering my enslavement towards and within the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
think/perceive/believe that to be alone = to be sad and depressive, because of
the copied perception of others as those that educated and influenced me as I
was growing up in this world, instead of releasing myself from such erroneous
programming through me applying the tools of writing, self-forgiveness,
self-corrective application and self-honesty, so as to see what I have accepted
and allowed myself to be and become as the programming as the mind, so that I
may, from oneness and equality as myself as the mind, understand what I have
accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind and stop my
participation within such programming and return to who I truly am as life as
the physical, so that I may act within the interest of what is best for all,
instead of continuously acting for the sole interest of myself as separate from
everything else, wherein I am only concerned to reach the goals of my personal
interests, instead of working/acting in order to ensure the happiness of all
living beings in this planet, as we are all as one as equal as life as the
physical HERE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite life
for the predicament I am in as that of being alone with myself, whereas I spite
life for giving me attributes which seemingly makes me undesired by others,
because of the perception that I am not entertaining or good looking enough for
girls to be with me, instead of realising that no one outside of myself will
change and stop the feelings/energies/negative thoughts that I have when I am
alone with myself, and that the only one who can change me by stopping such
reactions of the mind is myself alone and that the application of writing,
self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application gives me the
tools in order to build self-trust, self-intimacy and self-love of myself so
that I may CHANGE myself so that to become comfortable with myself, whatever
the circumstances, so that I may act unchained and free of the controls of the
mind so as to bring about a life that is dignified for all through actions
which will become one and equal to who I truly am as life as the physical,
Equal and One with all living beings.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate
within such games of mind polarity such as the experience of myself as being
positive when I am with someone and being negative when I am alone with myself,
through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to
participate within the mind as positivity/negativity, that I automatically
accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which
abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as
life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am
ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal,
wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective
application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living
example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for
the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for
everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through
the reaction of “feeling depressed when I am alone” pattern, I stop, breathe,
remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage
in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of depression
as the reaction of negative friction experimented when realising that I am
alone with myself, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to
self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so,
I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i
stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to
a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about
myself as the feeling/experience of depression, through the use of thoughts and
emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and
games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could
be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back
into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing,
self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the
desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so
allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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