I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated
within the idea of killing myself because of not finding anything good for me in
this world, whereas the fact that I have spent most of my life alone with
myself has built within me and over time, the notion that I am not wanted in
this world, and through this that I would be better off dead rather than to
have to live alone and by myself in this world, instead of realising that the perception
of being alone such as that which is interpreted by the mind as being separate
from all and everything as life as the starting point of the desire to kill
myself, is not who and what I am as who and what I am is always and in all ways
equal to and one with the principle of oneness and equality as life as the
physical and that from within the starting point of who I truly am as life, no
desires of dying exists as what I truly am as life as the physical is forever
fulfilled and can never die. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to separate myself as the mind from the physical as life,
and that through me accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the
physical as life, that I thus automatically invite such desires as that of
killing myself because of becoming the principle of separation as the mind as
that which perceive itself as being separate and finite, instead of remaining
united within and as life as the physical wherein no desires of death is
existent as the physical as life is infinite.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to
kill myself because of not having any girlfriends to share my time with,
whereas I sometimes nourish thoughts of killing myself because of having
associated positive energetic experiences with the fact of being with a
girlfriend, from within which I have accepted and allowed myself to believe
that the positive energetic experiences that I experience within myself when
with a girlfriend is enough to remove all desires of killing myself as those
desires have been spawned through the time where I have been without a
girlfriend which is extended, and that through this extensive time spent alone
with myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the
negative energies of the mind because of not having what I as the mind has
associated with positive energetic experiences such as being with a girlfriend.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value
being with a girlfriend as being above life, whereas I have accepted and
allowed myself to think about killing myself only because of not having a
girlfriend, which proves to me that I have conditioned myself to value being
with a girlfriend as being above the value I have given to life, simply because
of my acceptance and allowance of the thought/desire of killing myself, instead
of realising that the thought of me killing myself is actually me as life
stating that I want to STOP participating in the mind as death through me
killing/stopping my ego/mind possession so as to come back to who I am HERE as
life as the physical as all as one as equal as life eternal where only the will
to live exists.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself
as being inferior to a woman/female/girlfriend because of the “more than myself”
value that I have given to the woman/female/girlfriend in this world, whereas
the desire to touch and be with the body of a naked woman is perceived as being
superior to the fact/act of touching and being with the body of a naked man
such as what I am as myself – as I am always in touch with myself as my male
physical body and that because of the perception that I have of the female
physical body as that which I lack as my male physical body, that I have
generated this desire of being/touching with a woman so as to possess what I
lack as my male physical body, and that if this desire of possessing/touching a
female’s naked physical body is not constantly fulfilled, that I am constantly
lacking in what would make me experience myself as being fulfilled because of
continuously and constantly living within the desires of the mind as separation
– instead of realising that whenever I accept and allow myself to participate
within the energies of the mind, such as the positive energies that I
experience when with a female/woman’s physical body and the negative energies
that I experience when I am not with a female/woman’s physical body, that I am
constantly and continuously enslaving myself in the system of abuse as the energies
of the mind rather than stopping myself from participating within such systems
of abuse through BREATHING, self-investigating through writing,
self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to kill
myself because of not wanting to work for a living in this world, whereas the
thought of having to work and thus be physically enslaved to the system is
enough to make me desire erasing myself from this existence because of the fear
that I have of actually having to face the system as myself through me exposing
myself within the rules/games of the system instead of remaining blissfully
hidden from the social obligations such as working and earning a living,
instead of realising that I am equal and one responsible for the system and
that it is through my active participation in the system towards the goal to
change the system for a system which is best for all life, such as the system
of Equal Money, that I will be and become a responsible human being in this
world who acts in order to bring what is best for all life, as the current
system of abuse in this world only stands for self-interests which can never
stand for oneness and equality as life because of self-imposed self-separation
from the rest of self as all as the universe as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire
killing myself because of the belief that it is better in the hereafter,
whereas I have conditioned myself to be-LIE-ve that everything would be better
in the afterlife from within the thought that because of me being a good
person, that I would be granted a high position within the hereafter where I
would experience unnameable spiritual freedom because of the belief that
everything is better in the hereafter, instead of realising that this
perception of the hereafter is only but a dream which has no foundation within
reality as what is busy happening within this physical existence, and that the
only way that such a vision of the hereafter can exist is through me changing
my ways within and as this life, through me stopping my accepted and allowed
participation within the mind so as to reveal myself as who I truly am as life
as the physical and from there bring about a life which is best for all, Equal
and One with all living beings, such as through the advent of the Equal
Money System – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and
allowed myself to realise that the dreams of a hereafter are a copout from the
real LIFE responsibilities such as to change what we have accepted and allowed
as humanity as the system of abuse which dishonours life, into a system that
honours all life equally so that HEAVEN may become REAL in FACT.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate
within ideas of killing myself, through the realisation that as long as I
accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as the thoughts of
killing myself, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate
within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the
consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself
as finite Energy from within which the desires to kill myself originates – to
which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as
life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as life as the
physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective
application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living
example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for
the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for
everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through
the reaction of “wanting to kill myself” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind
myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for
it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of being
rejected by life, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to
self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so,
I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i
stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to
a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about
myself as the feeling/experience of wanting to kill myself, through the use of
thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition,
comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example
of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of
illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living
Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness,
self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the
frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express
myself unconditionally for the first time.
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