samedi 18 juin 2011

What you resist persist.

What you resist persists. Absolutely. Look at the resistances you all have towards the world, and realise that it is only because you all resist the world as it is, that you make it persist the way it does. What desteni does is that "she" makes sure you continue on with your silly actions of resisting what is rather than accepting it without any resistances. Only when you will stop resisting this world as what it is physically that you will actually break free of your resistances.Your resistances are keeping you locked into the mind - where desteni keeps her control over you. Whatever desteni tries to do or does won't change a thing to the state of the universe - it is just another trick up the snake's sleeve. Only when you will let go of her power over you that you will actually come back to your physical body and actually start acting out who you really are and are meant to be. Desteni is projecting the guilt of what she has created over all of humanity - as much as she can. It is her final attempt at keeping mankind enslaved under the will of the mind. Her mind. Because she knows her time of power/control is coming to an end - and she infinitely fears this as she doesn't want to become subservient as we are to her, which will be the case when the role reversal will soon come to be. She knows it. She only tries to prevent it. But it is unescapable because change is unescapable

vendredi 17 juin 2011

I have no face thus "I don't know".

I don't know. I don't have a face so how am I supposed to know? I know only 2 things = no things. I know no and I know things. Thus, I know no things are a like. Thus I know no repetitions because a repetition is the tendency to believe that two things are a like. There are only differences because I know only 2 things = no things. No things means that there are no things alike. There are no things alike because there are no things I like = there are no things like I. There are no things like I because there are no I like things. I am not like what I see because what I see is "no things like I".

Let's face it, we don't have a face and we never will have a face. The face that we believe that we have is only a lingering impression that first came when we acknowledge the face in the mirror as our own. That face is not our own, because that face created a delusion of a static image. This can never be real because we never were and never will be static. We are always changing because we are never the same. We never were able to see ourselves because we are the ones who are acting it all out. We can never see our faces thus we can never hold onto what we see. The only mistake there is is that we repeat what we like and dislike because we believe that we are the image that we see. The evident, here honest truth is that we do not see ourselves. We never will.

Let's stop this delusion and stop ourselves from repeating images that have impressed us in the past.

The dream is over. I am here for life.

After all those years participating with the desteni process, it is only now that I come to fully accept myself as a fully active and responsible human being - from within which I now see myself as being accountable for all that I do, say or act out. I have up to just recently, always lived under the care of my mother, as I was living under her roof for almost all of my life so far. Being 32 years of age, this "dependency" towards my mother acted as a veil which I used to remain irresponsible as if I always had the "patterned belief" that "someone out there" would "take care of things for me" - because that is what was constantly imposed upon me throughout my lifetime by my mother, that "she was and would take care of all of my needs", so that I may "enjoy life as my irresponsible self" as she would take care of all of my needs for me. I was blinded by her care and couldn't find my responsibility even if I pushed myself to be responsible. Always the same old pattern of "waiting for someone to take care of my needs" was overshadowing my outlook on life - because I was living under the roof of my "overly protective mother", which resulted in me living within a personality which controlled me to remain "irresponsible" because that "personality" was constantly being fed through me participating and accepting being taken cared of by my mother.

I was living as a zombie, making myself believe that I was all those great stuff while I was still being influenced by the overlaying shadow of my mother within my mind - as that shadow was filtering who I honestly was within my life - as a dishonest and irresponsible human being - because that "shadow as the mother figure" continuously and endlessly repeated that "I would be taken cared for. That I didn't need to worry or care about my actions because someone out there would fix everything for me until I die.". Within this, I was being constantly put to sleep - closing my eyes to the consequences of my actions - because through sleeping, I would continue on dreaming that I was "acting for this fictitious being" that I actually wasn't acting out. Now the dream is over and with it, all of the nightmarish apparitions which made me resist waking up are being dissolved through my actions.

Only recently have I completely destroyed the relationship with my mother within my life, and have been living "homeless" since then (I currently live at a friends house until i move to an apartment next month). This "homeless actuality" has actually made me see and realize the full impact of this "mother demon" that was the venom of my existence. I now, for the first time in my life, actually am homeless from the "home that was my home within my mind". Through this, I now see who I really am - because I now am "homeless" from the "home" as the "personality" that was my "home" within my mind. All the fears of being "away from my home within my mind" are being dissipated because I actually now face them as I walk. Those fears are no longer nightmarish creatures which populated my psyche all of my life - constantly making me resist the actions that were required of me to make for the sake of who I actually am as life. I now see them for what they really are = fears of being responsible and accountable for the consequences of my actions. I actually am beginning to embrace myself as a fully responsible human being which is the best gift I could have ever given me.

Thus, it is within that responsibility that all of my earlier desires to be and act according to what is best for all, are being actualized through my actions. No longer do I perceive this "will to become who I really am" as being something which is "out there". Here I am as those principles, because here I am actually moving myself as a responsible human being. I no longer dream of being that which is best for all. I actually act it out here. I no longer dream of being there as a responsible human being, because here I am, vulnerable, unprotected and uncared for - it is I that have to act myself out from now on. Through this, the dream of being a responsible human being is being actualized through my actions. And I can finally say that I now see who I honestly am because the dream is over.

I see here.
I act here.
I move here.
I live here.
I express here.
I breathe here.
I am here.

lundi 13 juin 2011

self-forgiveness on impressions - Not letting myself be impressed by nothing outside of myself.

Self-forgiveness on impressions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be impressed by others in my world.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that impressions are the prisons from within which I entrap myself in within the fabric of my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that an impression is an imprint of a dead moment which I cling unto because of the fear of letting that moment go and to actually have to face the full expression of who I am here without any impressions supporting me here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by impressions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by impressions through the fear of being alone within without any impressions from within which I could lose myself generated impression of being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the impression of loneliness as the impression of an endless void is the nature of who and what I am as being alone.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the impression of being alone as that of an endless void within my being is an illusion which has been birthed out of my first impression of who and what I am/was as the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the impression of the void as the nature of who I am as being alone is made out of the dent that I left within the fabric of my mind - which has an origin point which can never be reached because of being from a past-less self-reference point of an origin as a self-reference point which doesn’t exist here as self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the impression of the endless void within my being as the feeling of loneliness and aloneness is an illusion because of being a void (imagine a funnel within the fabric of space and time such as a black hole where there is no point which is at the core of the black whole – sucking all life as physical matter – even light – within the depths of it’s structure – sucking everything within it’s grasp because of a vacuum like movement which acts as the will of self to get back to a self-reference point of a past occurrence as a past moment of self that self mistakenly identifies as being it’s origin point = self tries to go to the past for self-reference purposes, however, there is no past self-reference point for self to use as an origin point of self’s present/here expression. Thus an-endless-void-as-an-endless-vacuum-sucking-self’s-attention-forever-down-the-drain-within-an-eternal-emptiness-as-an-imprint-wihtin-the-fabric-of-space-and-time is generated so as to comply to self’s “pre-conscious will” to refer to self a sense of self-awareness coming from the contrast made with a past origin point which can never be true since there is no past origin point which can explain self within creation since self's creation is forever unfolding wihtin the seamless moment of here = thus the illusion of the "black hole" as a void of an eternal emptiness is generated so as to comply to the stubbornness of self to find an origin point of creation within the past = absolutely impossible since the origin point of all of creation is forever here as self.) that I have created out of the fear of existing without any past reference point of my self as all of creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the continuous creation of myself as life here so as to create a void within the fabric of space and time = the mind as a “black hole” - which points to an impossible moment in the past, as the will to seek comfort from a past expression of my self which is impossible for self is forever created here as the only origin point of all of creation – not the past. Thus the creation of an endless void so as to continue feeding the impossible occurrence of there being a past origin point of all of creation as myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear being the origin point of creation as who I am here within each and every moment of self-expression as life eternal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I am as eternal life expression and through this fear, to have created an endless funnel as an endless tunnel as an impression from within which I can fall towards a “never reaching goal as a past origin point of self” so as to feed my will to forever hide and run away from the creation as what I have created as myself here within and as each moment of full self expression as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I am here as life and through this fear, have generated “impressions” within the fabric of space and time = the mind, so as to run away from the fear of being the totality of who I am here, which is inescapable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that it is possible to escape what I am here, through the manifestation and reinforcement of the will to get out of here as the manifestations of the impressions created within the fabric of space and time as the “black holes” of the impressions that I fear letting go of through the fear of facing all that I am here as life as the entirety of existence as self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the will to “get out of here” is the will of the ego that I have mistakenly identified as being my own.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the will of the ego is the will which has been birthed out of the fear of actually encompassing all that I am here as the physical as all of existence as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the act of running away from who I am here is impossible because here is the origin, the present, and the future of creation all together as self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that an impression is a possession which exists and manifests itself within the sub layers of my consciousness as non-verbal, non-logical movements which have been birthed out of my participation within my world before I became conscious of being self-aware.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to build my conscious awareness of my self out of the impressions that I impressed upon my physical body as I was busy experiencing and mimicking those who answered to my “imprints” as I was growing up in this world, within the stages of life where I was still unable to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impress moments of undifferentiated sound expression within the fabric of the sub layers of my conscious awareness of self, which I have subsequently used as the “foundation dents within the fabric of my physical being” upon which I have built the sound manifested structures through the mind, which have been used as the foundation blocks of the personality that I have accepted and allowed my self to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by another being that I perceive as having more than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by an event which I perceive as being “beautiful”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and lowed myself to let myself get impressed by another being who’s expression is in accordance to what I desire my expression to be as.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that to impress myself upon a specific event or object of my attention is to suppress my self-expression to allow the impression to take over me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that to allow my attention to be impressed by the expression of an outside manifestation - such as a beautiful sunset – is to allow myself to suppress my self-expression for the benefit of the expression that I seek to impress upon my mind as a moment in time that I do not want to let go of.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of impressing myself upon a moment in time will generate the consequences of creating a “void” within the fabric of my mind which will continuously pull my awareness within the “void as a past moment which is not here” instead of remaining here as the full attention of who I am as life’s expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impress myself upon objects-as-manifestations-of-expressions “caught in time” that I perceived as being “more than me” because of the belief as perception that I was less than whatever “object-as-manifestation-of-expressions” presented themselves as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by women in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by men in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by “beautiful girls” in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by “beautiful girls” in my world because of the belief that girls who are beautiful are “more than me” and that through this, that I sought to “keep those moments in time” to myself in order to “feed the sensation that I am more than what I perceive myself to be through the impression that I have dented within the fabric of my physical being through my mind”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that a “beautiful girl” is not more than me.

I forgive myselft that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is something "impressive" in a beautiful girl.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is absolutely nothing to be impressed about in a beautiful girl.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a beautiful image is impressive.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that a beautiful image is absolutely not impressive.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that a “beautiful image” is not more than me.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I am impressed by a beautiful image - such as a beautiful sunset or a beautiful women - I am actually making myself less than who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that nothing which is of a static manifestation in time, such as an image representation of a particular expression, is more than who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that an image as a fixed representation of an endless movement as life in time, is always less than who I truly am as life because it is static thus limited as opposed to what I am as life’s expression, which is eternally flowing and expanding outwards towards and as infinity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that an expression of a particular moment in time is “something” that I want to get hold of. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to invert life's forever flowing expression into an "impression" as an inner movement that pulls my awareness of "self as life here" within an endless void of emptiness as "self as the mind there" - as an inverted inflextion of the endless self-fulfilling movements of life's ever expanding expression.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that an impression is and can never be a “something” that I can get a hold of because of being contrary to the nature of life as self which is an ongoing, never stopping expression as self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that an impression is movement which goes against life as it is a movement which goes within towards a point which can never be substantiated because it is of the past which is no more = empty = non existent.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that an impression is only an illusion which is maintained by and through the focus of the ego which is not yet ready to let go of a moment in time which is no more as a past reference point which is and can only be a void because of not being expressed any more within the here moment of self’s expression here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value a moment in time as being more than another moment in time and through this, to have generated an impression of that “more than another” moment in time within the fabric of my physical body because of my stubbornness – as ego - of holding onto that which I value as being more than who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive who I truly am as life as change as being something which I fear being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate feelings of impressions because of the fear I have of who I am as change as life, in order to generate the illusion of “stability” as an impression to which I cling unto out of fear of actually being and facing who and what I am as eternal change.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise myself as who I am as eternal change as eternal life here as the expression of the ever-changing self as who I truly am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate the feeling of “impressions” out of the fear of being who I am as an “expression”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within my impressions in order to hide my self from my fear as the expression of who I am here as eternal change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that I find comfort within impressions while I remain oblivious to the fact that the comfort that I am experiencing through the impressions is a void that is pulling further away from here as real expression so as to remain caught within a past expression as an impression as illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be open to the world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that to be “open to the manifestations of the world” means that I am “open to being impressed by the world”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that to be “open to be impressed by the world” is to allow to be manipulated by events as objects as “illusionary static” images of attentions which occurs within the world – to which I bind myself to within the movements of impressions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that a movement of impression is a movement which is counter to the movement of life which is forever expression, radiating outwards rather than radiating inwards within an endless void generated out of the will to reach an origin point which cannot be found elsewhere but here.

Till here no further:

Whenever I sense the inner movements to participate within impressions arises, I stop, I breathe, and I see the thoughts, I see the patterns, I see the “dent in the fabric of my being” as impression and I do not allow myself to participate within the energetic expressions of inner impressions such as thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires and I immediately act upon blocking my self from entering those impressions through me realising that I am not less or more than any of outside manifestations as “illusionary static life expression”.

I am life.

I am the expression of life forever flowing here.

There is nothing to hold onto.

An impression is nothing but an impossible movement generated by the will of consciousness which seeks to get back to an impossible origin point of consciousness within an impossible static moment of past expression of self.

There is nothing but here as origin of all of creation.

I stop fearing who I am here as the full expression of self as life.

I stop participating within the act of being impressed by any outside occurrences of life’s expression.

I stop participating within the belief that I am less that what have generated a positive impression upon me from a past expression of my self which is no more = dead.

I stop participating within the belief that I am more than what have generated a negative impression upon me from a past expression of my self which is no more = dead.

I stop participating within the impressions of dead figures within my mind = past experiences of my self.

I remain here within and as self as life as all as one as equal – untouched by the past impressions of dead expressions.

Stoping all impressions = the key to releasing life from the dephts of our subsconscious.

Impressions are at the cause of all of our submissions. To stop the mind is to stop ourselves from the act of being impressed by anything outside of ourselves.

To be impressed by anything which is perceived as being an outside/separate object in relation to ourselves (be it a person, a word, a natural phenomenon, a specific event... anything which is an object to our attention) is to be kept within the fabric of those impressions. To release ourselves of our submissions, is to release ourselves from the attractions and repulsions of our impressions. Impressions are at the cause of our egos - thus to free ourselves from our egos is to free ourselves from our impressions.

Life is not bound to any impressions, because that would prohibit change. To be impressed is to go against change and to go against change is to go against life. Life is change. Life isn't impressed by any object or events which is created through time - because life flows, life moves as change throughout time = life doesn't stop within impressions because impressions are not of life. Impressions are dead occurrences of past expressions. Impressions are the resonances which are birthed from the refusal to let go of some event outside of ourselves. No event outside of ourselves are to be kept within ourselves through impressions. No event is worth it because no event is more or less than who we are as life. No objects which is perceived as being outside/separate of ourselves is a "treasure" that we are to keep for ourselves. In fact, each object which is perceived as being a "treasure" is a prison that we imprison ourselves within = inpression ( in pressure I am on = I am applying pressure inside myself). The only "treasure" is the treasure of life's expression, which is never bound to any impressions. Let us stop ourselves from being impressed by anything or anyone which we allow ourselves to be impressed of - because all impressions are against life. All impressions are against our nature as the expression of life.

(self-forgiveness's on "impressions" in relation to "me" to come...)

Conversation with a friend of mine - taken from facebook.

Ok, I will share here the conversation that I had on facebook with one of my friends regarding an inquisition that he had in relation to a video that I posted on my facebook page - The conversation was done in french, my native language, and concerns the fact that that "friend" of mine was in disagreement to what Bernard stated within the video (see above). What follows is thus the expressions of what I then allowed myself to express in order to clear out the doubts that was expressed through his wordings. Being done in french, and considering that most of those reading my blog are not of the "french language", I will first publish the original conversation thread in french, then will publish the "translated" version of this conversation thread. Take head however that the translation was made through the "google translate" tool found over the internet. The translation is thus not reflective of the original meaning of it's french counterpart. If requests are made for a clearer translation, I will take the necessary time to translate it in a more coherent fashion. But for now, being short on time, I will only publish the "google translate" english version of what was written in french.

In essence, I stated that to be able to change, one first have to allow oneself to express the voice of common sense within oneself. That voice is essentially a voice of "dissaproval" for that voice is in relation to life, and not to the system that we submit ourselves as life to be less than who we are. Thus, the discussion essentially reflect upon the need to allow ourselves to express the voice which we have suppressed through social conditioning, which is the voice of self-affirmation as the voice which is in direct relationship with life as the principle of change. To become one with that voice, we have to express the voice of change within ourselves. As long as we comply with the voice of self-complacency rather than express the voice of self-dissaproval, we will remain enslaved by the system which tries to shut down our natural life given right to change and bring about change. Life is change. Let us all allow ourselves to change as life.


Original transcript (in french):

Rémi Saint-Amant
Je trouve que l'analogie est boiteuse, comparer des oiseaux à un système monétaire c,est un peux comme dire que tous les enfants disent la vérité. Oui, c'est bien beau que des oiseaux puissent jouir de tent de plaisir au lieu de chercher de la nourriture, mais qui leur donne toute cette nourriture, c'est NOUS. Ppour que tout le monde aie de quoi manger et se nourrir il faudrait donner une vache et trois poules à tout être sur Terre et ça ne serais même pas assez. Oui le système n,est pas juste, oui il faudrait le modifier, mais pas le détruire. Qui donnerais à tous c'est gens. Qui?
Saturday at 10:50pm · Like

Alex Parkinson
le système est ce qui fait en sorte que des gens comme moi et toi en prennent plus que ce dont nous avons de besoins. Le système n'est pas une chose qui est à l'extérieur de nous, mais bien en nous. C'est ce qui nous motive à aller en prendre plus que ce que nous avons de besoins; de vivre dans le luxe avec toujours plus de possessions qui ne finissent que par nous posséder à la fin, sans considérer les conséquences de nos actions sur une échelle plus grande que celle de notre "petit monde". Ce n'est donc pas le "systeme" en tant que chose nébuleuse extérieure à nous qu'il nous est demandé de "changer", mais bien de "changer" le système en nous même car de toute évidence, il n'est pas construit sur des bases qui ont à coeur, l'équilibre des choses. Parfois pour amener le nouveau, il faut détruire l'ancien et dans le cas du "système" dont nous subissons tous les manipulations pernicieuses - dont nos comportements égoistes en sont la preuve - c'est en détruisant l'ancien que nous pouvons aménager de la place au nouveau. Et pour répondre à ta question concernant "Qui donnerais à tous ces gens", c'est justement parce que tu regardes la chose d'une perspective filtré par ce même système en toi que tu ne perçois pas qu'il y a suffisament de nourriture sur terre pour nourire chaque être vivants. C'est à cause de l'avarice et l'arrogance de l'homme - faisant partie de ce "système" qui nous gouverne tous de l'intérieur - que nous considérons que les mêmes relations existante entre "ceux qui vivent dans le besoins" et "ceux qui vivent dans l'abodance" sera également présente dans un "nouveau systeme où la vie et l'égalité est à la base de toutes considérations". De vivre en harmonie avec l'environnement est équivalent à vivre en harmonie avec soi-même en tant que ce que nous sommes physiquement. De ne pas vivre en harmonie avec ce que nous sommes physiquement entraine des égars de conduite qui nous sont dictées par une idée que nous avons de soi-même plutot que ce que nous sommes réellement. Si nous écoutions ce que nous sommes réellement, nos égars de conduite prendraient le champ, puisque nous sommes qu'avare qu'en raison du fait que nous croyons être ce que nous sommes pas = un égo qui en veut toujours plus afin de poursuivre un sentiment de bonheur qui ne fait que nous glisser continuellement entre les doigts. Le "nouveau systeme" est un systeme qui commence d'abord et avant tout par une réorganisation de ce qui nous amène à agir à l'intérieur de nous-mêmes, afin de parvenir à éventuellement syntoniser nos actions avec les véritables besoins de nos corps physique - et de cesser de nourire les besoins qui ne sont que le fruit de notre conditionnement intérieur nous amenant à en vouloir toujours plus malgré l'évidence de notre propre saturation. Se limiter à ce dont nous avons tous de besoins et arrêter de chercher à en avoir toujours plus remettra l'équilibre dans les choses. Mais pour ce faire, nous devons tous "tuer l'ancien système" qui nous gouverne de l'intérieur, afin de laisser place au nouveau, qui honore et glorifie la vie avant tout.
20 hours ago · Like

Rémi Saint-Amant fini tes phrases Alex j'ai arrêter de lire à la moitié .
18 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
Si il y a des phrases qui échappent à ton entendement indique moi lesquelles plutôt que de généraliser en fonction de tes propres blocages. Pour ce qui est de ma part, j'ai dis ce que j'avais à dire et je l'assume pleinement. Assumes-toi un peu et dis mois directement ce que tu ne comprends pas dans ce que je t'ai dis plutôt que de te cacher derrière des généralitées. Si tu as arrêter de lire a moitié, bien donnes-toi un coup de pied dans le derriere et lis jusqu'à la fin. Ce n'est pas à moi de franchir le seuil de tes propres blocages qui t'empêchent de compatiser avec ce que j'écris.
16 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
D'ailleur, "de finir mes phrases" me prendraient bien plus d'espace et de temps simplement pour faire germer en toi ou en un autre la perception qui est derrière ce que j'écris. "De finir mes phrases" me forceraient probablement à écrire des livres entiers afin de couvrire tous les sous-entendus qui sont à l'origine de ce que j'écris. "De finir mes phrases" m'obligerait à étaler toutes mes expériences et mes connaissances de vie sur une feuille de papier ou un écran d'ordinateur - simplement afin de faire comprendre une perception qui est fondamentalement non conforme à la norme. Alors, plutôt que de porter le blâme sur un autre que toi-même concernant ce que tu es disposé où non de comprendre provenant des propos d'un autre (en occurence, les miens), je t'invite à faire un examen approfondis des raisons qui sèment les embûches dans ta compréhension des autres.
16 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
Également, pour arriver à me comprendre dans mes propos, tu sais ce que tu as a faire - car je te l'ai suggéré à quelques reprises dans le passé. Mais tu y résiste pour des raisons qui te conviennent. Mais saches que c'est simplement parce que tu es complaisant dans le sort qui est le tiens dans la vie que tu ne fais d'effort d'élargir tes horizons. Cette complaisance envers son propre sort n'est pas partagée par la majorité et ce n'est dailleur que la minorité qui se complait de sa situation dans la vie. Les raisons en sont évidente, mais tant et aussi longtemps que tu seras complaisant dans ton rôle et ta vie, tu ne lèveras pas le petit doigt pour esseyer de me comprendre, ou de comprendre la majorité qui souffrent dans ce "système" qui est le nôtre.
16 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
Je suis malgré tout daccord avec ce que tu dis, puisque je n'ai pas pris le temps nécessaire pour étaler tout les points que j'avancais dans ma réponse. Mais comme je l'ai mentionné plus haut, si tu as de la difficulté à comprendre certaines de mes phrases, fais l'effort nécessaire pour indiquer lesquelles, car je suis d'avis que ce qui est clair dans ma tête ne l'est pas nécessairement dans celle d'un autre. Indique-moi ce que tu aimerais que je clairifie avec toi et je me ferais un plaisir de le faire.
15 hours ago · Like

Rémi Saint-Amant
Ok je me suis mal exprimé, j'aurai du dire de synthèse ton raisonnement pour qu'il sois plus facilement comprenable pas al majorité, au lieu de "fini tes phrases". Je comprend ton point, et je te soutien dans ton développement. Je crois que tu serais plus efficace(je sais que tu n'aimera pas ce mots) en fessant du bénévolat au lien de vouloir imposé ta pensée. Mais c'est mon opinion. Si tu crois que je ne comprends pas le "système capitalise" bien tu te trompe. Comme que je te l'ai dis plus haut je ne l'appouve pas mais je vie avec, au lieu de le combattre. Je ne voulais pas te faché Alex juste échangé et pour échangé il faut plussieurs opinions c'est tout.
13 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
Je suis daccord pour syntétisé mes pensées, mais si je suis fâché, c'est seulement parce que j'ai trouvé ma voix et que je cesse de parler pour un autre. D'être "faché" ne veut pas dire que j'en veux aux autres pour la situation qui est la mienne, cela veut simplement dire que je vais agir et que j'agis pour me changer et changer les choses - mais pour ce faire, il faut accepté d'être "fâché" et d'exprimer ce qui en découle, sans en être influencé par nos émotions. D'être "fâché" est simplement le vecteur nécessaire afin de me sortir du marasme qui compose mon esprit - et qui est pour la pluspart en provenance de ce que j'ai accepté être tout au long de ma vis = soumis. Cela n'est plus le cas. J'ai le pouvoir de changer et de changer les choses, comme nous tous. Il suffit de mettre un terme à ce qui nous fais croire le contraire en nos esprit et d'agir en fonction de cette voix qui est la nôtre, soit celle qui agit et s'exprime sans peur de choquer ou de bouleversé les autres, car le changement est absolument nécessaire. Après tout, c'est seulement à moi-même que je fais du tort lorsque je ne me permet pas de m'exprimer pour ce que je suis, et a personne d'autre. J'en ai assez de me soumettre à ce qui m'empêche d'être moi-même. Alors je m'exprime et le vecteur qui m'en permet est celui qui s'apparente à être "fâché", sans pour autant que je le sois, car il n'y a derrrière mes propos aucunes frustration qui est dirrigé à l'extérieur de moi. D'être "fâché" est issue d'une réalisation et d'une détermination à mettre un terme à ce qui, en moi, me bloque et me soumets à ce qui m'impressionne chez les autres. Ça suffit. J'ai autant le droit d'exister et de m'exprimer que n'importe qui et ce, malgré tout les handicapts réels ou nom de ma situation individuelle. Personne n'est parfait. Moi non plus. Je me permets d'exprimer ce que je suis parce que je suis arriver à terme avec cette constatation.
12 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
D'ailleur, c'est stupide de stigmatiser une expression qui nous amène à avancer alors que nous glorifions une expression qui ne fait que nous arrêter. D'être heureux est de "cesser de vouloir changer" puisque complaisant dans ce que nous nous sommes conditionnés à devenir. D'être fâché est d'agir pour changer puisque n'étant pas en accord avec la façon dont nous nous sommes conditionnés a devenir. La vie est changement et ce, indéniablement. De lutter contre le changement est une erreur fondamentale à l'idée stipulée par le "bonheur", puisque rien ni personne peut arrêter le changement qui s'opère d'un instant à l'autre. De se soumettre à notre conditionnement est de taire cette voix qui est en accord avec le changement, soit cette voix qui est une avec la nature. De se permettre d'être "fâché" est de se permettre de "changer" et de "faire avancer les choses". Autrement, nous ne sommes que des sobnambules dans la vie. Agissant selon la volonté du système qui nous a soumis à la servitude de par la répétition constante que nous sommes impuissant et incapable de changer les choses. Foutaise. Nous sommes le changement - chacuns de nous en soi. De changer est notre nature et notre droit le plus fondamental. Cessons de nous encloisonner dans des statu-quo qui ne veulent que nous maintenir dans l'asservitude pour les intérèts de la minorité et agissons pour finalement changer les choses pour les intérèts de la majorité. Tant et aussi longtemps que nous continuerons à nous endormire par les ballades que nous chantent la société, nous allons continuer à endormire la voix du gros bon sens qui nous indique les chemins du changement. Tant et aussi longtemps que nous serons "heureux" de notre sort, nous serons endormi façe à notre nature véritable. Nous sommes ici pour agir - pour changer les choses. Nous ne sommes pas ici pour continuer l'erreur humaine qui est sur le point de détruire la planète.
11 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
Nous sommes tous fâchés, nous ne savons simplement pas comment nous exprimer lorsque nous le sommes. Les émotions qui sont derrière ce que nous entendons par être "fâché" se doivent d'être clarifié avant de nous permettre de nous exprimer en tant qu'être fâché. Sinon, nos expressions seront aussi incompréhensible et incongrues que les émotions qui les animent. Cessons premièrement d'animer nos sentiments de frustrations par des émotions destabilisantes. Stabilisons-nous en nous débarassant de nos émotions et exprimons nous à partir de ce centre en nous-même qui en a assez et qui es prèt à tout pour changer les choses. C'est ce que je fais et que je vais continuer à faire malgré vents et marrées.
11 hours ago · Like

Alex Parkinson
Concernant ma suggestion de se stabiliser en nous nettoyant de nos émotions, je te suggère de le faire également. Mais c'est ton choix après tout. Une chose est certaine par contre, tes illusions seront tôt où tard déconstruits par la vie, ce qui aura comme conséquence inévitable de te faire vivre la totalité des émotions que tu supprimes en ton être. Pour t'éviter de devoir subir le déferlement de ce qui t'attends et dont tu en es le seul responsable, je te suggère de commencer dès maintenant à te purifier l'être. Les outils pour ce faire je te les ais déjà suggérés et si tu les as oubliés, je me ferai un plaisir de te les rappeller. Que tu te purifie ou non n'as de toute façon pas d'importance, parce que la vie s'en chargera tôt où tard que tu le veuilles où non. N'est-il pas mieux de s'en charger alors que nous en avons encore la possibilité? À toi de décider.


Translated English transcript ( through "Google Translate"):

Rémi St-AmantI think the analogy is flawed, look for birds in a monetary system c is a like can say that all children are telling the truth. Yes, it's fine that birds can enjoy tent of fun instead of looking for food, but giving them all this food, is U.S.. For for all the world had enough food and feed should be given a cow and three chickens to every being on Earth and it would not even be enough. Yes No system is not fair, yes it would change but not destroy it. Who would give it all people. Who?Saturday at 10:50 pm · LikeAlex Parkinson

Alex ParkinsonThe system is what makes people like me and you take in more than what we have needs. The system is not something that is outside of us but in us. That is what motivates us to go take more than what we have needs, to live in luxury with ever more possessions that end than we have at the end, without considering the consequences of our actions on a larger scale than our small world. This is not the "system" as something external to us nebula that we are asked to "change" but to "change" the system by ourselves because obviously it is not built on foundations which are committed to the balance of things. Sometimes to get the new one, he must destroy the old and in the case of the "system" which we all suffer the pernicious manipulation - including our selfish behaviors are proof - this is destroying the old that we can arrange for Place the new. And to answer your question about "Who would give all these people," precisely because the thing you look at a filtered view by the same system in you that you do not see that there is enough food on land for each nourire be alive. It is because of greed and arrogance of man - part of this "system" that governs us all from the inside - that we consider the same relationship exists between "those who live in the needs "and" those who live in the abode "will also be present in a" new system where life and equality is the basis of all considerations. " To live in harmony with the environment is equivalent to living in harmony with oneself as what we are physically. Not to live in harmony with what we are physically driving leads astray whom we are driven by an idea we have of ourselves rather than what we really are. If we listen to what we really lost our driving would take the field, since we are miserly that, because we believe that we are not = an ego that always wants to pursue a more feeling of happiness that makes us continually slipping through your fingers. The "new system" is a system that starts first and foremost by a reorganization of this leads us to act within ourselves to achieve our actions eventually tune with the real needs of our bodies physics - and stop nourire needs that are the fruit of our interior packaging in bringing us to always want more, despite the evidence of our own saturation. Be limited to what we all have needs and stop trying to have ever deliver the balance in things. But to do this, we must all "kill the old system" that governs us from the inside to make room for new, that honors and glorifies the life first.20 hours ago Like ·

Rémi St-Amant finish your sentences Alex I stop reading at the half.18 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonIf there are phrases that are beyond your intellect tells me that rather than generalizing from your own blockages. Regarding my part, I say what I say and I fully assume. Taking up a bit and say directly what month you do not understand in what I told you, rather than hide behind Generalities. If you stop reading a half, well give yourself a kick in the behind and read to the end. It is not for me to cross the threshold of your own blockages that keep you sympathize with what I write.16 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonBy the way, "to finish my sentences" I would take more space and time just to germinate in you or another perception that is behind what I write. "To finish my sentences" probably would force me to write entire books to cover them all the innuendos that are behind what I write. "To finish my sentences" would require me to dispose of all my experiences and knowledge of life on a sheet of paper or a computer screen - just in order to convey a perception that is fundamentally non-compliant. So rather than blame on anyone but yourself for what you are willing or not understand from the remarks of another (in this case, mine), I invite you to make a thorough examination of reasons that sow the pitfalls in your understanding of others.16 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonAlso, to get me to understand my words, you know what you have to do - for I have suggested several times in the past. But you stand there for reasons that suit you. But know that it's simply because you are complacent in the fate that is the wish in life that you do effort to broaden your horizons. This complacency toward its own fate is not shared by the majority and it is Dailleurs that the minority who revels in her situation in life. The reasons are obvious, but as long as you are complacent in your role and your life, you do not lift up a finger to esseyer understand me, or understand the majority who suffer in this "system" which is the ours.16 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonI'm still daccord with what you say, since I have not taken the time to spread all the points that I advanced in my answer. But as I mentioned above, if you have trouble understanding some of my sentences, make the effort necessary to specify, for I am of the opinion that what is clear in my head is not not necessarily that of another. Show me what you'd like me clairifie with you and I would be happy to do so.15 hours ago Like ·

Rémi St-AmantOk I misspoke, I say of your reasoning for synthesis it easier'm not understand al majority, instead of "finish your sentences." I understand your point, and I support you in your development. I think you'd be more effective (I know you will not like this word) to link spanking volunteered to try to impose your mind. But that's my opinion. If you think I do not understand the "system capitalizes" well you're wrong. As I've told you earlier I do not hereby approved but I live with, instead of fighting it. I do not want you just exchanged angry Alex and exchanged opinions must plussieurs's all.13 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonI'm daccord syntétisé for my thoughts, but if I'm angry, it's only because I found my voice and I stop talking to one another. To be "angry" does not mean I want the others to the situation that is mine, it just means that I will act and that I have to change myself and change things - but to do must be accepted to be "angry" and express what follows, without being influenced by our emotions. To be "angry" is simply the vector needed to get out of the slump that made my mind - and that is for the greater part from what I have to be accepted throughout my screw = subject. This is no longer the case. I have the power to change and change things, as we all do. Simply put an end to what we do believe otherwise in our mind and act according to that voice that is ours, the one who acts and speaks without fear of shock or upset others because change is absolutely necessary. After all, it is only myself that I'm doing wrong when I did not allow me to express myself for who I am, and nobody else. I am tired of submitting to what prevents me from being myself. So I speak and the vector that allows me is akin to being "angry", without as much as I am, because there is no frustration about my derrrière is Dirrig to outside of me. To be "angry" comes from a realization and a determination to put an end to what, in me, blocking me and submit myself to what impresses me about the others. Enough. I have as much right to exist and to speak as anyone, despite all handicapts real name or my individual situation. Nobody is perfect. Me either. Let me express what I am because I am coming to an end with this finding.12 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonBy the way, is stupid to condemn an ​​expression that leads us to move forward while we glorify an expression that simply stop. To be happy is to "stop trying to change" as complacent in what we are conditioned to become. To be angry is to act as change is not consistent with how we are conditioned to become. Life is change and this, undoubtedly. To fight against change is a fundamental error to the idea set forth by the "happiness", because nothing and nobody can stop change that occurs from one moment to another. To submit to our conditioning is to quiet the voice that is consistent with the change, whether that voice is one with nature. To allow oneself to be "angry" is to help "change" and "move forward". Otherwise we're just sobnambules in life. Acting on the will of the system that we submitted to the easement by the constant repetition that we are impotent and unable to change things. Hogwash. We are the change - all of us in itself. To change is our nature and our most fundamental right. Let us stop enclose status quo in which we want to keep in asservitude for minority interests and act to finally change things for the interests of the majority. As long as we continue our endormire by the ballads that we sing the company, we will continue to endormire the voice of common sense that tells us the paths of change. As long as we are "happy" to our fate, we will be sleeping in front of our true nature. We are here to act - to change things. We are not here to continue the human error that is about to destroy the planet.11 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonWe're all angry, we just do not know how to express ourselves when we are. The emotions that are behind what we mean by being "angry" need to be clarified before we can express ourselves as being angry. Otherwise, our expressions will be as incomprehensible and incongruous that the emotions that drive them. First stop animate our feelings of frustration by destabilizing emotions. Stabilize us as we rid our emotions and express us from this center in ourselves that has had enough and are ready to do anything to change things. That's what I do and I'll continue to do so despite winds and tides.11 hours ago Like ·

Alex ParkinsonRegarding my suggestion to stabilize us in cleaning our emotions, I suggest you do too. But it's your choice after all. One thing is certain by cons, your illusions will sooner or later deconstructed by life, which will result inevitably put you through all the emotions that you delete in your being. To avoid you having to suffer the onslaught of what awaits you in which you're the one responsible, I suggest you begin now to purify yourself be. The tools to do this I'll already suggested the boards and if thou hast forgotten, I am happy to remind you of. That thou hast purified or not anyway not matter, because life will do it sooner or later whether you like it or not. Is not it better to do it while we still can? You decide.

dimanche 12 juin 2011

Why am I doing my self-forgiveness out loud?

Recently, I was asked by a forum buddy - joe kou - to do more self-forgiveness statements within my writings since they are lacking in the posts I publish within my blog (which is not to say that I don't do them altogether), which I agreed to completely. However, I wanted to make clear that I actually do my self-forgivenesses regularly, but only not in the written form. Rather, I regularly express my self-forgiveness statements out loud, and here is the answer that I have given to joe kou regarding why I do this:

(coming from a facebook message that I sent to joe kou)

ok cool. I will do more of that in my future writings. However, I just want to add that I do my self-forgiveness statements regularly out loud, as the flow of "opening myself up to each layer of the onion" so to speak, is more fluent for me that way. Usually, when I do self-forgiveness in writing, I get lost in what I am self-forgiving myself about because the words I type/write don't come out of my head the same way as when I talk the self forgiveness statements out loud. An example of this would be that when I write the self forgiveness statements through typing or writing, I focus on each word that I express before going onto the next word within a "string of words which composes a statement" so to speak. When I do this, I sometimes lose the contents of what I intend to "self-forgive myself about" within the "string of words which composes a statement" because of the act of "focussing" on "each word" that I write/type. I see this as being caused simply because of the nature of writing which is, in a way, a slower expression than speaking. I know that I have to slow myself down in order to get back to the physical, but when I write my self-forgiveness statements, I usually do not get to express as many points as when I do the self-forgiveness statements out loud. because when I do the self-forgiveness out loud, I do not lose myself within the statements and/or words that I express, and I fluently express each self-forgiveness statements without losing focus of the actual self-forgiveness statement and the one which is to come - to which I see within mysellf as the next layer which is to come, as I go through the "layers of the onion" within myself so to speak.

So in short, the question that I would ask is this: is it better to do the self-forgiveness statements in writing or is it just as good to do it vocally - out loud? Because that is how I have done it for most of my participation within my process, which is, to do the self-forgiveness statements out loud. Last week in one particular example, I spent about 1 hour doing self-forgiveness statements out loud, without stopping between statements - as a flow coming out of my being without interruption. In contrast, to have written all of what I have stated within this hour of self-forgivenes statements, would have taken me probably twice the amount of time, if not more, that it took me to go through the points within the act of "self-forgiving to myself out loud". So, that is the main reason why I perceive doing the self-forgivenesses out loud as being more effective for me. In a sense, I do not get confused about myself when I talk myself out, whereas when I write myself out, I usually get confused.

also - another point to add about doing sf out loud vs doing them in writing - what I have specifically noticed is that when I do the self-forgiveness statements out loud, I "physically become" the words I speak, which is not the case when I write/type the statements alone. What I mean by this is simple: When I state the self forgiveness statements out loud, my facial and body expression change to mimick the nature of the words that I am stating out loud to myself - which doesn't happen when I do the sf in writing alone. As an example, a self-forgiveness statement that I have recently done regarding a point that I am currently facing, which is the point of "impressions" and what that point is in relation to me, is the following: "I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be impressed by others in my world. I forvive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that impressions are the prisons from within which I entrap myself in within the fabric of my mind...".

Now, when writing those last statements, I started moving my face in order to mimick the nature of the words that I was typing, but that was due to the subconscious desire of mine to have repeated the physical act that naturally came when I did those self-forgiveness statements out loud this pas week (where I became "physically one" with the words I spoke so to speak, whereas me as my body - as I have stated earlyer - mimicked the nature of the words I speak, but in a movement which stated that I physically put a stop to the accepted and allowed nature that those words represented within my mind, rather than a physical movement as a reaction to the words spoken out loud.

An example of that would be with the word "ugly" as it is a word which has generated a physical reaction of "shame" and "guilt" in the past - as it is a word which I have accepted and allowed to be true as myself as my physical being. Thus, to say that "I physically put a stop to the accepted and allowed nature that those words represented within my mind" - which representation was reproduced by the reactive behaviour of my physical body - is to say that when I "become" the words I speak through the self-forgiveness being spoken out loud, I "act" towards those words rather than "react" towards them, by automatically "changing" the reaction and placing a new "action" within the nature of "self-responsibility and self-determination" in relation to those words = I open my eyes wide when I speak those words + I move my hands in order to articulate the act of "blocking myself from the past influences of those words" so as to place a "new meaning" out of myself scripting myself out as to become an expression of what is best for all rather than to remain an expression which only interest is my own + I word myself out with sound, which is immediately sensed through and as my physical body, thus making the impact of the words more present/here in comparison to "speaking the words in my mind" which "naturally occurs" as an internal automated reflection of the words written, when I write myself out + whatever is behind those words I see more clearly when I speak myself out, since it seems to me that through the act of speaking myself out, I actually physically push myself out of myself through a means - sound - which is in direct resonnance with the origin of the influences which have brought me to create those self-limiting patterns as personality. Because have a look, when I started building my personality from ground up as a child, I wasn't able to articulate my thoughts, as I had not yet learned how to speak words. However, within that stage, I was influenced and I understood the impact of "sound" and "sound" was and is the building block of the personality which ensued. Thus, to actually use sound in order to sort myself out, enables me to actually release myself from the "sound generated" resonnances which I have stored within my physical body - and which had been compounded upon through my participation within those "sound impressions" as the "foundation block of my personality"- because when I speak the words of self-forgiveness out loud through absolute self-honesty, I release the honest foundation block as "sound imprints" which would have otherwise remained within my being simply because of not being "resonnated" upon.

Writing, unless done in conjunction with speaking, cannot manifest actual/real sound - it is common sense. However, speaking does manifest sound - it is common sense. Through this, the relation/bridge to the actual cause of the "imprint" which is at the core of each layers of the "onion as personality" so to speak, is made manifest here and from there, a new self-generated inprint/script can be inserted. That is what I have come to realise through the act of "speaking the sf statements to myself out loud" which have brought me to actually change - from within a deeper subconscious level - within my participation within my living environment.

samedi 11 juin 2011

Stopping all impressions - Not letting my self be impressed by no one.

Ok, I will here explore the specific relationship that exists within myself, presumably coming from within my subconscious, between myself and the impression of myself. First of all, the reason why I stipulate that this relationship originates from within my subconscious is simple: whatever actions that I manifest first comes from a state of "pre-consciousness" which influences and directs my actions that I manifest throughout my day. Now, those actions that I am writing about here, and to which I am refering to within this moment in my mind, doesn't concern actions which are "impressive" in the sense that they generate specificly intense movements of concern within myself, but rather, that they are simple day-to-day actions which continuously represent themselves because of being birthed from an ongoing pattern of repetitive behaviour which stems from the "pre-conscious" state within my mind. This "pre-conscious" state within my mind, is perceived as being a space within my mind, which is not "objectible" meaning, that it is a space within my mind coming from an original and past awareness of myself where no differences were perceived between myself as who I was, and the outside environment as "who I was also". In other words, within this state of "pre-conscious awareness" there is no "outer" and "inner" self, as all is just but self being expressed without any self-generating differenciations - logic - simply because of the fact that a new born being - wathever the lifeform - starts life "anew" meaning, with absolutely no reference points regarding the world as the living environnement one births oneself in.

The question of impression thus arises. Because have a look, when a new born being first enters this world, there is absolutely no self-generated reference point with the being as an individual, and the outside environement as the world the being expresses itself in. This simple equation stems from the "common sensical" fact that a new born being's brain, isn't yet complete through the simple "mathematical equation" that the brain at this stage, doesn't have any self-reference points of it's past self-occurences, simply because it has no past. The fact that a new born being doesn't have a past towards which a sense of self as a "separate entity" can originate from, simply shows that at this stage, the being cannot use the tools of the "conscious mind" because of not yet having built those tools out of any past reference points. Those tools, at this stage, are continuously busy building themselves up, and it is solely through the interactions made by the newborn being within it's living environment (people and objects; the physical world) that the "tools of the mind" can be constructed. This construction of the tools of the mind is generated through a simple equation of "copying" whatever objects within the living environement that respond to a specific "imprint" which comes and is equal to an underlying fabric of a being's composition. The only available tool of understanding at this stage, is the natural tool of "imprinting" as "impressions" of the outside world - an impression is exactly what it refers to, which is the act of actively "printing into" a fabric, that which is willed to be imprinted. In other words, a new born being instinctivelly mimics the beings within it's living environnement which responds to a "pre-birthed" imprint as an "impression" that wills the new born being to further the imprints of that "impression" - through continuously reinforcing that impression through specific interactions with the beings which responds to that "pre-birthed" imprint of the new born being (an imprint which comes from the mother's woumb - wich originates from the specific compositions of a being's dna which in turn generate a specific and unique imprint which will guide the being to create it's "individualised self" when the being will have been birthed into the world). Now, this ongoing process of "inprinting" is at the core of a being's programming to it's outside influences, because have a look, at the first stages of life, there is no self-reflective self-reference points for one's sense of self, simply because of the simple mathematical equation that to have a self-reflective self-reference point, one invariably has to have a past experience towards which one builds that self-reference point. At the stage of birth however, there are no such self-reference points because those self-reference points are simply not constructed yet. The inner movement that leads the being into the act of building these self-reference points, originates from the "pre-birthed" imprint from within which the being experiences itself within it's mind. Those who respond to this "pre-birthed" imprint are thus automatically "attended upon" by the attention of the "new born being" simply because the "attention of the new born being" is automatically geared - within the "pre-birthed imprint" - towards the beings who respond to that specific "pre-birthed imprint".

At this stage however, there is no capacity to "talk or think" by the being, simply because those aspects as tools of the mind are not constructed yet - meaning, they need a self-reflective past for them to exist within one's mind. This "self-reflective past" is busy being lived out by the being at this stage, and it is specifically through those first instances of life as the first years of a new born human being, that the brain establishes the tools which will allow the being to become aware of it's own individual self and to interact within it's enviroment within a self-aware state. Once the tools will be made complete however, meaning once the mind will have established a "conscious realm" which is in essence a self-reflective realm, the link to the "pre-conscious" realm will forever be perceived as being "lost" from the perspective of the "conscious self-reflective being". This is simply due to the fact that the self-reflective realm as the "consciousness realm" absolutely cannot go back to the "pre-conscious" realm simply because of the inherent mathematical equation that exist as the "consciousness realm". The consciousness realm exists within the scope of definitions, and definitions exists within the first-hand, self-lived experiences of self-generated boundaries between an experienced phenomenon and another. The "pre-conscious realm" however, only exists within the undiferenciated realm which pre-existed the consciousness realm, as the first stages of a being's life - a stage where no self-reflective self-generated self-definitions can exist simply because of not having self-experienced life within the outer realm as the world. Because there is no such self-reflective possibility at the "pre-conscious stage", the "pre-conscious stage" cannot be reached by any means whatsoever that have been built within, through and as the "consciousness realm". In other words, the "pre-conscious realm" cannot be reached by solidified constructs within a beings conscious mind (such as static self-definitions), but can only be "reached" through the dynamic exploration of one's "imprint" as the "impressions of life" that one carries.

Bringing it back to self, to be impressed by something is to allow an imprint to be generated within my mind and to allow an imprint to be generated within my mind is to allow my self to be trapped within that "impression". The more I allow my being to be impressed by whatever outside or inner occurences that occur within my living experiences of my self, the more I allow my self to be held within and as those same impressions within my mind, thus the more I resist change through me not letting go of those impressions.

I am not an impression however, as I am life as the physical. Impressions are from the past and I am here as the living breathing expression of life as all as one as equal. Whenever I let myself be impressed by something or someone as an outside experience of myself, or whenever I let myself be impressed by an idea or a thought or a word or a feeling as an inner experience of myself, I allow myself to be "trapped" within patterns of personality which I am not.

Thus, I stop participating in impressions. I stop valuing impressions. I stop falling into impressions and remain stable here as the physical as life as all as one as equal.

jeudi 9 juin 2011

Talking myself to freedom

I have recently discovered, through practice, that it is easier for me to apply myself through the application of "talking yourself to freedom" rather than "writing yourself to freedom".

The reason why I write this is because of the following: There is a tendency of mine to lose focus of what I am exploring within myself, such as specific points of relevance within my process, when I use the application of "writing myself to freedom" alone. This confusion seems to stem from the fact that I do not hear the words that I am writing and thus, seems to empower the impression that I am trying to convey points which are as insubstantial as the personality that only exists within the realm of this unsubstantiated MCS that I have become to believe to be me. This "unsubstantiated" impression thus seems to not get substantial to the actual being as the physical as who I am here and rather remains within the realm and scope of the Mind Consciousness System which is, by definition, unsubstantial. It is as though I am trying to swim within a pool that contains no self-reflective substance for me to see myself as what I have become. The threads that I thus follow towards the goal of finding resolution and realization through writing seems to always get lost within the confusion which is generated as I write myself to freedom - because there is no actual and physical self-reference point to the points that I am busy exploring. Those points are only shadows of the past from within which I cannot substantially relate to. It is as if I am talking within an emptiness, trying to figure out the fabric of that emptiness within myself - a futile exercise which can only bring more confusion. However, there is no inherent wrongs in "writing yourself to freedom", as it is and can be a very effective tool of self-introspection and self-correction through an honest look at oneself. However, for me, considering the specific psychological makeup from within which I have constructed myself as personality, I tend to get lost in confusion whenever I write myself to freedom - a confusion which seems to be exponential to the words that I am expressing out of myself in writing. Again, this is due to a specific psychological makeup of mine and is in no way a generalized conclusion towards the actual benefits of "writing yourself to freedom".

Considering the tendency I have to lose focus in what I am writing, because of an inherent sense of "looking through a void" while I am writing, I have come to express myself out loud - within selected time-frames of self-application (when I am free of other obligations = free time) - whenever I come face to face with a self-limiting point that emerges out of my subconscious through my participation within my living environment. The connection and the substantiated impact of the "spoken word" is in an another league altogether than the words that are merely placed in written form. When I speak myself to freedom out loud (self-forgiveness, self-corrective application, self-honesty), my attitude and behavior is automatically geared towards the underlying will from within which I actually move myself to change. The simple act of actually hearing my words being spoken out loud through the usage of my voice rather than the usage of my fingers - an application which is bound to only be partial and thus, partially experienced through the physical body because of not being actually impacted upon the physical senses through the vibration of actual sound, and thus remaining trapped within the empty space of the mind where only impressions of inner reflections/imprints exists - automatically gears my attention to the words spoken instead of having my attention dispersed within and through a mind which can offer no substance whatsoever. For the substance of the points within my being to become actual/real, I have to make them physically substantial. Writing myself to freedom doesn't do that, for the reasons that I have just explained. Talking myself to freedom however, actually brings my awareness to be fully invested and responsible for the words that are spoken, making them become real/substantial to myself. Words are thus no longer representing shadows which only exist within the construct of confusion = MCS, but start becoming living manifestations/expression of my being because they are then existing within the real realm of the substantial existence = the physical. The actual implications of the self-limiting structures which exist behind the words that I use, thus make a real and truthful impact upon the actual physical being that I truly am. Through speaking myself out loud, I become the actual living expression of myself and can actually achieve real realizations through the impact that those words generate towards my physical body as I speak them out loud out of self-honesty, self-will, self-determination and self-corrective application. I am thus continuously realizing self-limiting/imposed structures which stems from my subconscious and am thus continuously realizing the actual consequences of holding unto such structures. The realizations of the consequences of holding unto such structures, doesn't come from "writing myself to freedom", as writing only concerns and involves the self-reflective nature of the mind - which I am not.

To bring my words within the realm of the actual living reality that is the physical, is to bring back myself to myself, and from there, change towards the path of self-expression that is best suited for all who share this common ground that is the physical realm, equal and one. Talking myself to freedom enables me to see beyond my boundaries and amalgamate myself back to the physical as who and what I truly am.

Alex Parkinson

mardi 7 juin 2011

Daily diary

Sunday, June 5th 2011-06-05

Today, I want to start, or rather feed a new pattern within me through the activity of writing, more specifically. This will to feed this new pattern of mine, which is not really new in a sense, since I have written many works in my past, but not in the sense of structurally directing myself into a specific goal within the act of writing. These past few weeks, I have started a new pattern of “diarising” my daily activities within the intention of doing so in a strictly objective fashion, which is to look at the activities of my day, in retrospect, from a strictly objective manner, so that I may develop a sense of being “here” within my living expression of myself here, instead of always reverting to past or future references of myself which only exist there in my mind.  So, recently as I have just stated, I’ve started to feed the pattern of focussing my attention on the objective/real and acted upon reality rather than trying to mingle what I live with whatsoever perspective or intentions that are behind my actions. What I seek to accomplish through this, is to actually change who I am within what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through the mind. What I have specifically noticed within my accepted and allowed personality, was that I have lived most of my life within the confines of my mind, within a position that is never actually living the direct of my living experience here, but rather is living in a projected inner realm where I nourish past ideas/experiences of myself or plan future ideas/experiences of myself rather than actually living who I am here in breath. So, within this, I realised that I have to apply myself in structuring my attention within what I am actually living on a day to day basis, so that I can built self-trust within who I am here rather that feeding illusionary trust stemming from future or past projections of myself here.

Also, i would like to point out that within this here diary, is my first attempt at writing myself out within the English language within the scope of my current intention which i have stated above. The reason why I want to point this out is that i have accustomed myself to write and talk to myself in French for the past few weeks – within the same scope as the intention that I have identified above. So, for me, I rather find myself in a position now which brings me to doubt my expression within the English language as the structure within which I write myself when writing in English, doesn’t have the same “flow” as the one which I have become accustomed to when writing and speaking in French. I am not here saying that I have difficulties in expressing myself in English, but rather that I do not sense English as being close to the core of what I am trying to express through this language. The language which is more to the core of my being is the French language, as this is the language from within which I have been brought up in this world. So, it is natural for me to translate my reality through the language of French instead of the language of English. So, when the time comes for me to express myself within the language of Shakespeare, it is a bit of a greater hassle for me to find confidence and flow in what I am writing/saying because of the inherent structure of the English language, which is significantly different that the French structure (for example, the structure of wording a sentence is generally different in French than in English).

What I want to structure within my being is the habit of living within the here expression of my physical reality instead of remaining in the “there” expression of my metaphysical reality. I am not living in my mind, but because I have accustomed myself in the act of isolating myself in my mind for most of my life, my focus at this point of my process is simply to get into the habit of placing my attention here. So, in order to accomplish this, I first have to will myself into an action that will, through repetition, restructure my awareness into my actual living reality. It is because I have lived within my mind for so long that I have to do this, for it is only through repetition of what I will myself into being, that I will overcome the patterns which pulls me backward within my mind as a conditioned habit.

Having said that, I will now go and have a look at my activities of the day, even if I haven’t lived through experiences which were particularly out of the ordinary or “moving” (here, i want to note that I took a small amout of time in order to remember the specific word that i was looking for, since the word which first came to mind was a French word – “bouleversement” – which means “to be internally moved as if recovering from an emotional shock” and since the English word which carries this same meaning wasn’t made readily available in my mind, I chose the word which seemed to stuck in my mind in regards to what I was intending to convey, thus I selected the word “moving” even if i am sure there is another English word which could portray the meaning of what I was trying to convey in a more precise and specific manner. So, this example is just to show those who are reading me, the inner struggle i face whenever i write in English, which is not foreign to me but foreign to my “inner vocabulary and structure of mind” – and it exactly because of that “foreign structural nature” that I have difficulties conveying my expression when comes the time for me to write or talk in English rather than French.). So, I was saying or rather writing that I haven’t lived specifically moving experiences within my daily activities of the day. But nonetheless, I will do a diary of my activities of the day because I see that even within the smallest of experiences, patterns of self-limitations through the personality that i have accepted and allowed myself to become can be found. It is thus by first becoming aware of those patterns that I will have the power to change myself into a living expression of what is best for all, which is simply to allow the life expression as my being here to release itself without the constant suppression coming through what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through the mind.

So, the first thing that I did this morning after I woke up was to fully dress myself up before going out of my room. I did this because it is not in my habit to dress myself fully before leaving the confines of my room whenever I wake up in the morning. Thus, rather than dressing myself up fully before leaving my room in the morning, I normally – within the self-conditioned structure of my personality – go out of my room partially dressed, with only my underwear or pants on before leaving my room in the morning.

It has occurred to me, after I read a self-empowering book a few weeks ago where it was mentioned that the simple act of changing one’s action per day could bring about effective change in one’s behaviour, that I would start by changing the pattern that I have accustomed myself into as my personality first by changing the pattern that I have habituated within my waking behaviour which was to “go out of my bedroom not fully dressed in the morning”. Through participating within the process of expressing to myself out loud, the objective experiences of my daily activities since about a few weeks back, I have started to see the underlying subconscious reasons as fears which were at the origin point of this behaviour. To change this simple behaviour of “not dressing myself up fully before leaving the confines of my bedroom” has had subtle yet observable effects on my overall personality construct, if not for the mere effects such an act has on my will to change – thus reinforcing the structure of change within my mind by making me “remember” through this action, the will to change the underlying pattern within my personality controlled behaviour. In a way, this simple act of changing the first action of my daily routine opens myself up to the new structure that I am responsible of creating as my self-expression, a structure which is fundamentally one with the being that I truly am rather than the being that masquerades as myself through what I have accepted and allowed myself to become.

So, after this “change in my behaviour” – a change that I have started applying for myself since about a week or so – I went outside my room and towards the bathroom so that I could weight myself – as this is yet another pattern that I allow myself to participate in because i am rather self-conscious of my weight, not wanting myself to reach a weight that would be over what I allow myself to weight.

(ok, i want to put a parenthesis here because i sense that i have difficulties concentrating myself when i am within the application of writing myself out. You see, I have accustomed myself to do this application through the act of “talking to myself out loud” at night time in a space where I am isolated from all to hear – in a park near where I live. Now, since I am writing within the scope of this application for the first time since I started this application of “diarising my daily activities through me talking to myself about my day out loud” and also since I am writing myself out in English, I have a tendency to “enter” patterns of “structural writing” – which I define as writing as if I am talking to someone else than myself within my own mind (writing for someone else than me which implies using words and sentences in order to bring about an understanding that is to me, acquired – meaning that I don’t have to tell myself why I need to do what I am doing since I know first hand why I have reached this point and why I need to change, but when I am writing in the scope of my blog, i write so that I can be understood by those who are reading, which implies that I have to go within myself in order to reach the words which would clearly explain the knowledge which is at the foundation of my expression, meaning the self-acquired knowledged out of lived experiences, which brought me to apply myself to change because of a “no more” type of attitude towards my behaviour. So, I find myself in a situation where I, first of all, have to write in a language which is foreign to my inner structure of mind – being French – and secondly, that i have to write for someone who will potentially be reading this post – which may also never be the case. So, it is this mental frame which I currently find myself in, which is not yet habituated. And it is giving me difficulties in remaining clear and to the point because of the nature of writing which is essentially an inner conversation with oneself. To me, whenever I write, it is difficult to maintain a specific focus because of the “silent” nature of “writing”, meaning that when one writes, one doesn’t state out loud all the words that one is writing. This fact brings me to have difficulties in “following” what I am saying because I do not “hear” the words that I am typing. Since I have accustomed myself to “hear the words” that I use to diarise myself to myself for the past week or so, the act of now doing this diary through writing, generates a sense of “unstructured expression” since I do not physically with my physical ears, hear me out loud when I write the words that I am currently writing. I notice that the simple act of speaking to myself out loud is an effective support in maintaining my focussed awareness here, rather than looking at words which all seem to be referring to things which only exists in my mind, rather than things which I bring out of my mind through a more directly sensed physical act, such as speaking out loud = hearing the words I speak rather than  reading the words I speak. Hearing the words I speak implies the physical body, which is who I really am as the physical as all as one as equal as life, whereas only writing the words keep me looking in my mind, rather than placing my attention on what is busy occurring here as I am writing myself out. Thus, I notice that it is a great support to actually talk to oneself out loud rather than continuously analyse the past through writing alone, because when one speaks to oneself, one physically senses the words one speaks which, in the case of what I seek to accomplish – which is to bring about the new pattern of living here in the physical reality rather than reverting back to the mind – facilitates one’s attention in remaining here, where life actually happens.)

Thus, I will stop my diary here, because it is all over the place. I wanted to do an introduction to those who may be reading, to what I intend on doing in the following days, which is simply to diarise myself so that I can share myself with others. My next diary will be more to the point, as I directly go to the act of diarising my day now that I have made a rather disjointed introduction of what I intend to do.