Talking myself to freedom

I have recently discovered, through practice, that it is easier for me to apply myself through the application of "talking yourself to freedom" rather than "writing yourself to freedom".

The reason why I write this is because of the following: There is a tendency of mine to lose focus of what I am exploring within myself, such as specific points of relevance within my process, when I use the application of "writing myself to freedom" alone. This confusion seems to stem from the fact that I do not hear the words that I am writing and thus, seems to empower the impression that I am trying to convey points which are as insubstantial as the personality that only exists within the realm of this unsubstantiated MCS that I have become to believe to be me. This "unsubstantiated" impression thus seems to not get substantial to the actual being as the physical as who I am here and rather remains within the realm and scope of the Mind Consciousness System which is, by definition, unsubstantial. It is as though I am trying to swim within a pool that contains no self-reflective substance for me to see myself as what I have become. The threads that I thus follow towards the goal of finding resolution and realization through writing seems to always get lost within the confusion which is generated as I write myself to freedom - because there is no actual and physical self-reference point to the points that I am busy exploring. Those points are only shadows of the past from within which I cannot substantially relate to. It is as if I am talking within an emptiness, trying to figure out the fabric of that emptiness within myself - a futile exercise which can only bring more confusion. However, there is no inherent wrongs in "writing yourself to freedom", as it is and can be a very effective tool of self-introspection and self-correction through an honest look at oneself. However, for me, considering the specific psychological makeup from within which I have constructed myself as personality, I tend to get lost in confusion whenever I write myself to freedom - a confusion which seems to be exponential to the words that I am expressing out of myself in writing. Again, this is due to a specific psychological makeup of mine and is in no way a generalized conclusion towards the actual benefits of "writing yourself to freedom".

Considering the tendency I have to lose focus in what I am writing, because of an inherent sense of "looking through a void" while I am writing, I have come to express myself out loud - within selected time-frames of self-application (when I am free of other obligations = free time) - whenever I come face to face with a self-limiting point that emerges out of my subconscious through my participation within my living environment. The connection and the substantiated impact of the "spoken word" is in an another league altogether than the words that are merely placed in written form. When I speak myself to freedom out loud (self-forgiveness, self-corrective application, self-honesty), my attitude and behavior is automatically geared towards the underlying will from within which I actually move myself to change. The simple act of actually hearing my words being spoken out loud through the usage of my voice rather than the usage of my fingers - an application which is bound to only be partial and thus, partially experienced through the physical body because of not being actually impacted upon the physical senses through the vibration of actual sound, and thus remaining trapped within the empty space of the mind where only impressions of inner reflections/imprints exists - automatically gears my attention to the words spoken instead of having my attention dispersed within and through a mind which can offer no substance whatsoever. For the substance of the points within my being to become actual/real, I have to make them physically substantial. Writing myself to freedom doesn't do that, for the reasons that I have just explained. Talking myself to freedom however, actually brings my awareness to be fully invested and responsible for the words that are spoken, making them become real/substantial to myself. Words are thus no longer representing shadows which only exist within the construct of confusion = MCS, but start becoming living manifestations/expression of my being because they are then existing within the real realm of the substantial existence = the physical. The actual implications of the self-limiting structures which exist behind the words that I use, thus make a real and truthful impact upon the actual physical being that I truly am. Through speaking myself out loud, I become the actual living expression of myself and can actually achieve real realizations through the impact that those words generate towards my physical body as I speak them out loud out of self-honesty, self-will, self-determination and self-corrective application. I am thus continuously realizing self-limiting/imposed structures which stems from my subconscious and am thus continuously realizing the actual consequences of holding unto such structures. The realizations of the consequences of holding unto such structures, doesn't come from "writing myself to freedom", as writing only concerns and involves the self-reflective nature of the mind - which I am not.

To bring my words within the realm of the actual living reality that is the physical, is to bring back myself to myself, and from there, change towards the path of self-expression that is best suited for all who share this common ground that is the physical realm, equal and one. Talking myself to freedom enables me to see beyond my boundaries and amalgamate myself back to the physical as who and what I truly am.


Alex Parkinson