samedi 30 juin 2012

7 years journey to life: Day 52: Love of animals




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to spite/blame/judge those that I see walking their dogs with leashes as being bad, wherein I judge them within the secret mind/backchat as being "bad" because of not walking their dogs without leashes, as I feel bad for the dogs who have to walk with leashes because of them not being free within their movements, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to judge the dogs masters as being bad within my secret mind/backchat, that I accept and allow the system of abuse to perpetuate within and as humanity because of not taking a stand for life within the moment of judgment, whereas I continuously repeat the same pattern of judging the dog's master as being bad in endless loops of repetition within the mind, without me acting upon it through me getting out of my mind and expressing to the master that such a behaviour towards the dog doesn't stand for life as that which is best for ALL LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of sadness whenever I see a being walk their dogs with leashes because of projecting myself within the place/skin of the dogs, whereas I thus see myself as being enslaved to the master's will within the fact that the master uses a leash when walking his dogs, whereas the movements of the dogs are limited and dependent on the master's movements instead of being free - instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within feelings of sadness when seeing a dog being walked with a leash, that I thus accept and allow myself to participate within the games of the mind whereas I become possessed by the feelings of sadness from within which my entire perspective of the moment becomes modified as through seeing the moments within the filter of sadness, instead of stopping such participation within the emotions of the mind through me applying the tools of BREATHING, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to change my behaviours/actions when seeing a dog on a leash so as to be able to act within the moment as that which is best for all life, such as to be able to talk with the dog masters with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for the dogs when seeing a dog being walked by its master through the medium of a leash, because of then projecting myself within the place of the dog where I perceive the fact of being leashed as being a detriment to my liberty, instead of realising that within and as the actual system that is accepted and allowed by human beings in this world as it currently is, that it is maybe best for the animal to be leashed because of the fact that some dogs/animals may harm other human beings/animals if unleashed - within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that the only reason why an animal such as a dog may turn against his master or any bystander or any animals if unleashed, is because of the accumulated frustration that the dog may have built within and as itself through constantly and continuously being forced to abide to its master's will of being leashed, and that such an expression by the dog would be only the reflection of the abuse that the dog's master have expressed towards the dog throughout time, and that it is the responsibility of the dog's master to treat the dog as an equal so as to make sure that such an expression of the dog may never happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good within myself when I see a dog master walk their dogs without a leash, wherein I project my sense of self within and as the dog and thus feel "happy" for myself as the dog for the fact that I as the dog am thus able to express myself freely within and as my movements within the company of the master - within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within feelings of "goodness/happiness" within myself when I see an unleashed dog walking with his master, that I thus automatically accept and allow myself to participate within feelings of "sadness/unhappiness" when I see a leashed dog walking with his master, thus enforcing the enslavement to the polarity of the mind as "good" and "bad" through my participation within the feelings of happiness and sadness whereas the mind thus becomes/remains the self-directive principle of me when within the circumstances of me seeing a dog being leashed or unleashed while walking with his master - instead of stopping such participations within the games/energies/emotions of the mind through me applying the application of BREATHING so as to remain HERE within and as STABILITY as myself, so as to be able to express myself unconditionally as who I am as the physical as life, one and equal to all living beings, so that I may act according to what is best for ALL LIFE in whatever circumstances I find myself in - so as to be able to walk with another being as myself so as to help/guide all as myself into actions which are best for ALL LIFE and not just for the self-interests of the individual, which is always a system of abuse such as what is the case when a master walk his dig with a leash.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to act towards the animal abuser when I see a dog bark and move so as to tell his master of its will/desire to be unleashed - such as when a dog uses it's paws within movements towards the leash or master which clearly suggests that it wants to be unleashed - because of the fear that I have of confronting the dog master in his beliefs towards how he should treat/control/have mastery of "his" animal/dog. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear confronting the beliefs of another being as myself, because of the fear of "confrontation", whereas anytime I am faced with the possibility of confronting someone as myself, that I usually shy away from the possible confrontation because of my fear of seeing the other person as myself become confrontational with me - instead of stopping such fears which paralyses me, through the tools of BREATHING and through the tools of self-investigation through writing so as to see where within myself that I exist as fears of confrontation so as to eventually stop all participations within the fear of confrontations through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to express myself unconditionally wherein I remain stable within and as myself from whatever circumstances that presents itself to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my inner feelings of innocence towards dogs in general, wherein I perceive dogs as being examples of innocence within this world because of their general behaviours of playfulness whereas they seem not to have any concerns/care in the world, not realising that through me projecting my feelings of innocence within and towards the dogs in general, that I thus accept and allow myself to participate within the feelings of the mind, therefore remaining enslaved/controlled by the mind through me acting within the starting point of feelings rather than acting within the starting point of stability as who I am HERE within and as self-honesty as myself as the BREATH wherein I can change and act according to what is best for all life instead of acting according to my self-interest alone.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise, that whenever I accept and allow myself to participate within the polarity as the mind, such as when I accept and allow myself to participate within the feelings of "goodness" when I see an unleashed dog, and when I accept and allow myself to participate within the feelings of "badness" when I see a leashed dog, that I thus limit myself within being/becoming less than who I am as life because of thus being controlled/directed by the flux and flow of energy within and as my mind, which can never be stable because of being entirely dependent on outside experiences, rather than realising that the best that I can do in such circumstances, is to remain stable within and as self HERE within and as who I am in self-honesty as BREATH, so that my actions may reflect life as that which is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as feeling good or bad for the status of animals through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of polarity, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “feeling good or feeling bad” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of an animal lover, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of high/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.



See these blogs:
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vendredi 29 juin 2012

7 years journey to life: Day 51: Self-forgiveness on my cyst problem

Today, I will do self-forgiveness statements regarding the cyst that I have talked about in my previous post here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated because of the fact that my cyst keeps on bleeding and that the doctors that I have seen so far, refuse to operate it for the moment because of having to wait for my scheduled appointment with the cyst specialist before the cyst to be operated upon.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of discomfort within and as myself as reactions towards my current situation with the pilonidal cyst, whereas the cyst keeps on spewing puss and blood and that I have to place a swab on it so as to control the spewing of blood and puss as best I can so that the blood and puss doesn’t spill to my underwear (being that the cyst is situated at the base of my coccyx) and pants, instead of remaining here within stability within the perspective that there is nothing else that I can do for the moment and that it is no use for me to constantly and continuously experience discomfort within and as myself as a constant preoccupation of my situation with the cyst as this is me participating within the worries of the mind instead of remaining HERE stable within and as myself as who I am here within the totality of my physical being and presence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the concerns and worries of the mind, such as me worrying constantly and continuously about my present predicament with the cyst whereas it keeps on bleeding and spewing puss without it showing signs of healing – which only fuels my worries and preoccupations within and as the mind because of the fact that the problem remains and doesn’t heal even after about two months of almost constant bleeding and spewing of puss – instead of realising that I have done all in my power to heal the open wound of the cyst and that there is nothing else that I can personally do in order to heal/correct the wound as I have reached the limits of what I can personally do in this circumstance and that the best that I can do for the moment, is to stop myself from constantly and continuously participate within the worries of the mind regarding this problem and stabilise myself HERE within and as who I truly am as presence as the physical body, so as to stop myself from reinforcing the enslavement of the mind as worries and concern, and  remain here present within and as who I truly am as life as the physical – the problem will be fixed when I’ll have my scheduled appointment with the cyst specialist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated within the personality of waiting for my cyst to be removed by the cyst specialist, wherein I have been tempted to move most of my responsibilities/commitments into the future because of being currently too concerned and worried about my cyst to apply myself within stopping myself from participating within the mind, whereas there is almost no place left for me to “think/act” about something else, such as my current process of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, because of the overwhelming preoccupation/concern within the fact that my pilonidal cyst keeps on bleeding no matter what I do to stop it from bleeding, instead of realising that the personality of “waiting for the medical appointment with the cyst specialist” is of absolutely no use to me as I am thus only allowing myself to procrastinate because of the self-justification as the excuse of “utilising the bleeding cyst” as a reason for me to skip some of my responsibilities towards myself because of the desire to wait for the cyst problem to be fixed/healed before allowing myself to concentrate on the other issues/responsibilities in my life – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that as long as I can control the cyst from spewing too much blood or puss, that I can still participate within my responsibilities of writing myself to freedom through the use of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, exactly as how I have been doing for the past few months or ever since the problem with my cyst first started.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the worst of scenarios concerning my bleeding cyst, within me thinking/believing that the cyst specialist won’t be able to fix the problem as all I have heard from the doctors so far regarding my cyst, is that they can do nothing about it for the moment whereas I have to wait for the cyst specialist in order to see/determine if I do in fact need a small operation in order to clean the wound and to finally close it so as for it to finally stop spewing blood and puss, instead of realising that as long as I have not yet met the cyst specialist, that there is no use for me to imagine the worst of scenarios as this is not assisting and supporting me within and as my process.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind as worrying and concerning myself for things which I cannot control, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as worrying and concerning myself for things which are out of my control, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the thusly generated friction and consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy and in fact make the situation worse – to which I am ultimately not of energy, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “worrying and concerning myself for things which I can’t control” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of worry and concern, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of worry and concern, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
See these blogs:
Heaven’s Journey to Life
Creation’s Journey to Life
Earth’s Journey to Life
And other Journey to Life blogs
Desteni.org
Equalmoney.org
And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

7 years journey to life: Day 50: Problems with my physical body




Ok, today I will do a special entry in my blog wherein I will talk about what is bothering me at this current date and time.

Now, in one of my post that I wrote about 3 weeks ago, I talked about a physical issue that i have been having for what has now been about 2 months. The physical problem that I then talked about concerned a cyst that is located on the base of my vertebrae, just next to the coccyx. I have been having this cyst for more than that time however, as it first appeared in about the beginning of the year 2012. It first appeared as a bump that was near my coccyx and was a slightly bothering me in the beginning stages where I had difficulties in sitting down because of the fact that i felt sensations of pain as I was pressing my body on top of the cyst.

So, like I said, at first the cyst didn't bother me that much, as I kind of found ways to live with the "problem" and I actually thought that it would disappear by itself with time. However, the problem became to appear as being a bit more serious after a few months passed, wherein the cyst was still there and where I still had problems when sitting down. Fortunately, I had regular visits at the hospital throughout that time, where I regularly met with a nurse that has been assigned to me to see if I respect the taking of my medication in order to treat my "bipolar" predicament ( i won't call it a disease as I do not see it as such ). So, when I met my nurse, I told him about the problem  that I have been having with my cyst in the region of my coccyx. He had a look at the cyst and was a bit concerned, as he believed it to be a pilonidal cyst - which is a problem that usually occurs with people who spend prolonged time in the sitting position for the purpose of work. So, he asked me if it was a problem to me, to which I told him that I could live with it. So, we didn't make much of the situation and believed that it didn't need any further auscultation by a doctor.

So, i went about my business without being too much concerned about the "big pimple" that was on my ass.

However, about two months back, within the whereabouts of mid april, the cyst busted open whereas a continuous flow of puss and blood started to flow out of the pimple. I didn't notice the blood and puss at first because of the fact that I had a lot of hair near my coccyx area whereas the hair kind of sponged all of the blood and puss into making a kind of "barrier" whereas the hair in the vicinity of the cyst became infused with small quantities of puss and blood and dried up so as to make a kind of natural ... how do you call it... ( i do not know the english term for what i am trying to express. I went and have a look at an online french to english dictionary site in order to find the word that i am looking for but didn't find it) ... you know, the natural thing that happens when someone gets a cut and then the cut dries up with blood in order to protect the cut while the body heals it - well it kind of made that same thing, but with the hair surrounding the cyst opening acting like a natural "protector". So, I didn't notice that the wound was still open because of what I just tried to explain, being that the hair formed a kind of natural protective barrier so that the wound would heal.

The problem occurred however, when in the middle of the month of may, where I removed the "sticky and dried-up hair" that surrounded the area where the cyst used to be. So, by me removing the hair that was around the wound where the cyst had been, I kind of opened up the flood gates, as ever since then, the wound kept on spewing constant blood and puss. So, i put a cotton swab and some tape around the opening so as to protect my underwear from the blood and puss that was constantly spewing out of the wound - thinking that it would subdue over time and that it would eventually heal itself.

This was not what happened however, as when I checked to see if the wound would have healed, the opening was still there and blood and puss was still spewing out of the wound for weeks on end. So, at the beginning of this month, I decided to go to the clinic for the doctor to have a look at the situation. Now, at the time where I went to the clinic, the blood and puss kind of stopped for a moment, and the wound didn't look that bad from the perspective of the fact that the blood and puss wasn't spewing from the wound that much. So, when the doctor saw the wound, he said that he would have to give me medication and a special ointment that I was asked to put on the wound to see if that would be necessary for it to heal. So, I took the prescribed medication and the ointment and applied it for about a week.

During that time, the blood and puss kind of stopped from spewing out of the open wound so that I thought that the problem was finally over with. However, the fact that the wound was still open and that it hadn't yet closed kind of concerned me.

About a week after I had applied the ointment and took the medication - which was prescribed for only a week by the way - the blood and puss started to flow out of the wound again. This time, I decided to go to the hospital in order to get it fixed once and for all. So, I went to the hospital to get it checked.

After waiting about 4 hours at the urgency room, the doctor finally got to see me. So, when he saw me, I explained the problem to him after which he had a look at the situation. He told me that he would probably have to operate the wound - meaning that he would have to open the wound up further by using a scalpel in order for him to remove all of the "bad stuff" within the wound which was causing the blood and puss to constantly flow out of the wound (and at the same time to finally close the open wound so that I could eventually stop having to put a cotton swab in my underwear so as to make sure that the blood and puss wouldn't spill into my underwear) The problem with the wound at the time of my check-up however, was that it kind of appeared as if it was in it's healing stage, where no blood and puss was coming out of the wound. So, because of the fact that blood and puss wasn't getting out of the wound, the doctor decided that he wouldn't operate and that he would schedule an appointment with another doctor specialised in chirurgic so as to see if i needed an operation after all - as he was doubtful that my situation needed an operation as no blood and puss was coming out of the wound. He scheduled the appointment for the 10th of July.

So, believing that i was finally in the right direction in regards to my wound, I went home thinking that I would have to patiently wait for the 10th of July for my appointment with the doctor. However, the problem resurfaced today as after i took my shower, I noticed that blood was coming out of the wound. So, I pressed within the area of the wound so as to see if more blood woud spew over and as a matter of fact, enormous quantities of blood and puss started to spew over again from the wound.

This situation is bothering me because the blood and puss won't stop coming out of the wound. I have placed a cotton swab and some Scott’s paper around the area of the wound in order to protect my underwear and shorts from the blood and puss that spewed over but alas, there is so much blood and puss that is coming out of the wound that even the cotton swab and Scott’s paper don't hold it in. Now I have blood over my underwear and I think that I’ll have to go to the hospital again, even if before my scheduled appointment, in order to have an emergency operation on it. Surely now that the blood and puss is coming out of the wound, that the doctor will see the urgency in the situation and will operate me in the minute as I am tired of having to worry about this wound almost everyday.

So, i will end this blog entry here and will go to the hospital right away as I want this problem to be over with, once and for all!!!

mercredi 27 juin 2012

7 years journey to life: Day 49: Fear of living without energy





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear living without energy because of the addiction that i have within and towards energy, whereas I constantly and continuously seek energy as a positive experience of myself because of being addicted to the experience sof me swelling up inside of me through the accumulation of positive energy, where I become gradually possessed by my own desires as self-interest to the extent where I close my eyes to what is actually happening within my environment as the physical because of being caught within my personal experience/desires of positive energy within and as my mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experience of me when within the accumulation of positive energy is only the experience of me as the mind of energy, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and that whatever I experience within and as energy as the mind is always an illusion for the simple reason that the energy is dependent on outside influences because of being finite, rather than realising that who i truly am remains forever HERE as stability and infinity within and as the physical as life as the truth of me, and that when I am caught within the experiences of myself as positive energy, that I stop through the application of BREATHING and the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I stop all participation within energy as the mind and realise myself as LIFE as the physical as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the games of “energy exchanges” when I am participating within whatever activities with the company of a friend, such as my accepted and allowed participation within gossiping and blame and judgments that I participate in whenever I am with a friend because of the habit that I have created of participating within such activities when within the relationship with another, instead of realising that the games that I play when with the company of others as friends of mine, are games that doesn’t stand for oneness and equality as they are a statement of separation as the perceived differences in the mind, whereas I am and become completely unstable because of being manipulated and governed/directed by the energies within and as my mind - instead of stopping such participations through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to build self-trust and self-will so that to CHANGE what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as a system of abuse, and become equal to the system of life which is the system of oneness and equality between all living beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to build a habit of participating within games of energies when I am with the company of others, such as friends, wherein i have conditioned myself into behaving in ways where I allow myself to generate situations of “laughter” so as to build the positive energies within and as myself and another as myself, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of gaining positive energies, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within negative energies within and as myself because of the equal and one relationship between positive energy and negative energy, whereas as I experience positive energy within and as myself, I automatically invite negative energy within and as myself within another moment of self-expression – which are specifically the moments where I experience the “other side” of the conditions that I have generated within and as my mind in order to experience/exchange positive energy, such as when I am alone with myself rather than being with the company of another, wherein I experience the negative discharge of energy when the condition of the manifestation of the positive energy within me is not present anymore = such as when I am alone with myself I tend to experience the “other side” of the positive energy that I experience when I am with the company of another. Within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the exchange of positive energies when I am with another, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within the exchange of negative energies when I am not with another, such as when I am alone with myself and that through this, that I accept and allow myself to be possessed by thoughts of negativity such as thoughts of “killing myself” because of not having built self-love and self-trust when within the company of myself alone. I now see/understand/realise that for me to stop myself from participating within negative thoughts that comes from / are birthed from the experience of myself as the mind as negative energy, that I have to stop myself from participating within positive thoughts that comes from/are birthed from the experience of myself as positive energy, wherein I become possessed and delude myself into thinking/believing that everything is fine with the world, whereas this is far from the truth as the system of abuse as the system of the world is based on such desires of “gaining more positive energy”/”gaining more money” at all cost, where life gets left to rot only because of the selfish desires of humanity to always gain more and more and more positive energy/money at the expense of life/god/the physical, and that for me to come back to my senses and be HERE as equal and one with the physical, that I have to stop myself from participating within the games of energy as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “charge myself up” through the practices of meditation techniques from within which the purpose of the practices is to gain as much positive energy as possible, for the soul purpose of satisfying the desires of my self-interests – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my desires as self-interests, whereas I only seek to satisfy my self-interests of becoming as happy as I can be through the accumulation of positive energy, while i accept and allow this world to be destroyed through the greed/abuse of self-interests as the system of mankind, only because of my personal and separate desires to have my own personal heaven as separation from all and everything, rather than realising that through me separating myself from all and everything within the self-interested purpose of constructing/gaining my own little heaven, that I am actually separating myself from who I truly am as life as the physical as all as one as equal and that I will eventually face the dire consequences of that self-separation at death – instead of stopping such self-interested behaviours through the investigation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as abuser of life, so that I may come to see the constructs within and as my mind so that, from within the starting point of self-awareness, that I stop all of my participation within the system of abuse as the system of self-interest only, and become equal to the interest of all as one as equal as life as the physical, so that we/I can CHANGE what we/I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as humanity and become the living examples of what we truly are as life which acts for the best interests of all living beings as equals and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting myself to another human being without first being energised within and as my mind consciousness system, because of the fear of not having the energy to be able to “find the words to communicate with” when with the company of another, because of having conditioned myself to “perform better within my conversations with others as myself” when I am under the influence of a positively charged accumulation of energy, wherein the “words to communicate with” comes easier/faster when I am positively charged with energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with another human being, such as communicating with a sales clerk, when i am not firstly charged with and as energy because of the fear that I have of others seeing/thinking that I am strange for “talking too slow” because of the fact that the words within my mind doesn’t come as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the energy as the mind when within the act of communicating with another, wherein the words comes more easily when I am firstly charged with positive energy in contrast of the words not coming as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I don’t need the accumulation of positive energy to be able to talk with another human being as myself, within the perspective of having words come easily within and as my being, and that if the words are still directed/governed by the presence or lack of the presence of the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind, that I am thus still directed by the mind as energy and that for me to stop myself from participating within such a limitation within and as my expression of myself, that I have to firstly STOP myself from participating within the accumulation of positive energy within and as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free my expression from the conditions that I programmed into my being such as the need to generate/accumulate positive energy within and as my mind before talking to another as myself, and thus allowing myself to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that i need energy in order to be able to express myself to others, wherein I have programmed myself into acquiring/manipulating the energies within and as my mind so as to accumulate as much as positive energy as possible before allowing myself to communicate with another being as myself, because of the accepted and allowed belief as condition that I have placed within and as my expression, that in order for me to be able to be listened to, that I have to express myself with as much as energy as possible so that the people to whom I am expressing myself to, doesn’t get distracted by other things around them so as to keep them “locked into me” for the purpose of them satisfying my self-interest of being listened to/being given attention to, rather than them placing their attention on other things than my expression as my desire to be listened to. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control/manipulate others as myself through the usage/expression of myself as “high energy” so that I may be given attention to within the belief/perception that people around me are as addicted as me to energy and that because of expressing myself within the starting point of high energy, that I thus automatically attract and maintain the attention of others around me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the act of manipulating others around me through me projecting myself as the “reserve of high energy” as the mind, that I thus automatically enslave myself and others as myself within and as the system of abuse as the system of gaining/attracting as much energy as possible without considering the consequences towards life as the physical because of only being controlled/directed by self-interest alone, instead of stopping such participation within self-interest through the tools of self-investigation that comes from writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free myself from the programming of the mind and so that I can script myself as my new behaviour within the starting point of acting within the interest of what is best for all life, Equal and one with all living beings of this world.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of competing for “positive energy” as the mind, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of competition, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “seeking to accumulate as much positive energy as possible before communicating with another human being” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of seeking to project myself as having high energy to others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of high/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.



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