mercredi 13 juin 2012

7 years journey to life: Day 35: To quit or not to quit




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about quitting the 7 years to life process because of currently having difficulties in finding subjects to write about within my 7 years to life process blog, whereas I tend to think that I am going in circles because of not finding relative subjects/points to write about, wherein I seem to revisit points which were relevant to what I was going through within past posts instead of finding new points/subjects which are relevant to the current moment – instead of realising that it is not about writing about new and different subjects from posts to posts, but to write about what is busy occurring within and as myself at a given moment in time even if that means that I have to revisit a point that was previously visited upon, because of the realisation that a point can resurface from one moment to another, within that a new facet of a point may resurface from one moment to another, from layers to layers whereas a new layer always present a new perspective from within which the point can be explored/self-forgiven on – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that points are multi-layered within and as myself, and that the effective release of a specific point can take a lot of self-forgiveness and time to get through.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am going in circles within my 7 years to life process blog, because of the belief that I am currently stuck within my process whereas I seem to revisit points that I have already written self-forgiveness on, instead of the realisation that it does not matter if I revisit a point that I already visited in the past, because the purpose of myself writing myself out to freedom through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, is not to invent new points that are not relevant to what I am currently busy working on within myself, but to write about the points which are directly relative to what I am experiencing within and as myself as the mind at a specific moment in time, even if that means that I have to revisit a point, because the mind works in cycles whereas patterns are set within and as myself as the mind, and that through me facing myself as the mind, that it inevitably means that I have to face myself as the patterns as the different facets of a point that I have constructed within and as myself as the mind. I now see realise and understand that a point is multi-layered within and as myself as the mind, and that the depths as the different layers of a point may be revealed within another moment whereas different patterns within the point may emerge depending on the time and circumstance of me facing the point.



I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that a point as that which I face as myself as the mind, is a pattern which have been constructed as and within different dimensions of the self, whereas I may one day face a specific dimension of a point within the limited depths of what I allow myself to face within that specific day as that which is relevant to the self in a given day, while I face within another day, another specific dimension as another layer of the depths of the same point which is relevant to the self in another given day – as the points are always multi-layered and that it takes time, self-commitment, self-devotion and  self-discipline in order to work out all of the depths and layers of myself as a specific point as myself as the mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about quitting my 7 years to life process blog, because of the time it sometimes takes me to write about my daily entries within my blog, whereas it sometimes takes me an hour or more to write about my self-forgiveness statements or any other subject that is faced as myself within my blog, wherein I would sometime get discouraged about writing because of the time it takes me and because my mind would find it difficult to remain focussed within such time frames, whereas I would think of other “more pleasurable” things to do such as watching television or playing video games – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “things” which are occupying my mind as I write my self-forgiveness statements or any other subjects of concern within my blog, are mostly things which are birthed from the addictions of the mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the illusion of self, such as the addictions of participating within games of energy as polarity manifestations within the mind, such as watching an “entertaining” television program or playing an “entertaining” video game – wherein the “entertainment factor” would be determined by the amount of positive energy I would allow within myself through my active participation within entertainment -, instead of realising that each time I accept and allow myself to participate within the polarity of the mind as the “positive energy”, I also accept and allow myself to participate within the “negative energy” as the mind, whereas the opposite energy will be experienced as soon as the positive energy will have run out. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the mind’s game in existing within the polarity of positivity and negativity and defining such a polarity existence of the mind as who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire doing more “entertaining things” than to write daily in my blog, such as watching television, playing video games or going outside with friends, instead of devoting myself entirely to the process through me being fully invested within the act of writing, without no back-chat wherein I would tell myself to hurry up so that I can/could go and do some more “entertaining things” than to write in my blog – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that the best gift I could/can give to myself is the gift of self-forGIVEness, wherein through me forgiving myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, I am giving myself the gift of LIFE, as the process of writing through self-forGIVEness is the process of giving to myself the power to CHANGE so that I can become a living example for all, showing to all as myself what it is to be a responsible human being who acts from within the starting point of that which is best for all, for that which is best for all life is best for myself, Equal and One with all living beings.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire quitting before reaching the end of my 7 years to life process because of the thought of “it’s going to be long before the end of the process” from within which I discourage myself because of the apparently lengthy amount of time required for the process of re-programming oneself to LIFE – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that it’s going to take time, more or less 7 years, before I will have re-programmed/re-scripted myself into that which is best for all life, because of the fact that I’ve been programming myself as the mind ever since I was born and that it will take time to deconstruct that programming so that what remains is me HERE as who I truly am as the physical as that which acts for the interests of all life, Equal and One with all living beings.



I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.



If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to quit” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.



When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to quit before the end”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.



I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring to quit before the end, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.



I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.









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