I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire
experiencing the “emotional high” that comes from smoking pot, whereas I would
experience an emotional high within and as my mind through the act of smoking
pot, not realising that prior to the desire of smoking pot, the act of experiencing
an high would bring about an experience of a “low” right after the moment where
the experience of the “high” would be experienced, thus making me bounce around
within and as my mind within the energetic experiences of highs and lows, instead
of stopping such participations within and as the mind, through me applying the
tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application,
to stop myself from participating within the act of smoking pot so as to stop
behaving within self-interest alone and start behaving as what is best for all
life through me remaining HERE stable within and as the BREATH as myself in
self-honesty, where no pot is necessary for me to experience myself as who I
truly am as the BREATH as LIFE as the PHYSICAL. I now see/understand/realise
the mind polarity games that I accept and allow myself to participate within as
the mind whenever I accept and allow myself to smoke pot, wherein the
experiences coming from such act is never “mystical” or “special” or “more than
who I am” for the experience of smoking pot is only an experience that exists
within the confines of the mind and never is a true/honest representation of
who I really am, for only thus reflecting on the disease as the mind as
thoughts, feelings and emotions while who I am as life as the physical, gets
abused through such acts of selfish unawareness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise
that smoking pot is not an act of “mystical properties” or of “connection with
an higher self” as the effects of smoking pot is never the reflection of
reaching a domain of higher spiritual awareness, such as the domain where I believed
myself to participate within as the “connection with an higher self” when I
allowed myself to smoke pot, but is rather an act of dishonesty through me
accepting and allowing myself to reinforce the separation further between who I
am as the physical as LIFE which requires NO REFLECTION/THOUGHTS/EMOTIONS, all
of which being consequential outflows of smoking pot - and with who I am as EGO
as the mind as that which divide who I am as life as all as one as equal, for
the sole purpose of self-interest and the living of self-interested
dreams/desires/needs which are only of the mind alone and not of LIFE as acts which are for LIFE are
acts which are best for all life as one as all as equal, wherein the act of
smoking pot only furthers the disempowerment of self towards the mind where no
directive principle exists.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire
smoking pot, because of the lingering thought/idea/emotion that such an
experience would be beneficial for me, because of only thus seeing/perceiving
the experience from within the starting point of self-interest as the desire to
experience myself as being “more than” who I truly am – which is self-dishonest
because of the fact that all experience of myself as through the energetic
highs of taking drugs such as pot, will bring about the experience of myself as
the energetic lows and through such, would only enslave me deeper within the
depths of the polarity games of the mind through my own accepted and allowed
participation within the mind as the highs and lows as the flux of the
experience of myself as an energetic entity – instead of realising the common
sense within the fact that who I really am is not of the mind, but is of the
physical as the physical is life as it is common sense to realise that all of
that which is one and equal with all living beings, is the physical as life –
not the mind, which is rather the illusion of life as the thoughts/ideas/emotions/feelings
which are all illusions that keeps us deluded and enslaved to the
interpretations of the mind towards reality as the physical, rather than being
equal and one with the physical as life, as what it should have been from the
beginning.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective
application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living
example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for
the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for
everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If
and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire
to smoke pot” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of
me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me
and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When
and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the
thought of “wanting to experience the highs of smoking pot”, I stop, breathe,
see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality
from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game
and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an
automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and
as Breath.
I
commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring
to be more than who I truly am as the physical, through the use of drugs such
as pot/marijuana, thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the
human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish
myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited
living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and
Equal for every living Being.
I
commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness,
self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop
judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally
for the first time.
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