mercredi 6 juin 2012

7 years journey to life: Day 28: Hitting a wall

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I do not feel anything special within myself as a point to consider writing about within self-forgiveness, that I have nothing to write about, that I have nothing to face within and as myself, instead of realising that as soon as I place myself HERE within and as the moment, that points naturally emerges within and as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as the mind - such as the point that I am currently facing of thinking/believing/feeling that I have hit a wall within my daily self-forgiveness application because of having difficulties in recognizing what I am currently facing as a point within myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider not writing today because of not feeling/sensing/perceiving a specific point to write about within my daily self-forgiveness application, instead of realising that the very act of thinking about not having a point to write about within my daily self-forgiveness application, is a point within and as myself as what I have accepted to be/become as the mind - within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that the very reason why I do not specifically think of a point to face/consider/write about is because of my accepted and allowed participation within laziness, where I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from myself-as-the-mind because of the want/need/desire that I have to perceive/believe myself as being accomplished instead of realising that I always have a new point to consider within and as myself within self-honesty - such as the current point of "hitting a wall" in my process.



I forgive myself that I haven`t accepted and allowed myself to see/understand/realise that the 7 years to life process is a process that is to be applied daily within what emerges as points within and as myself as the mind - and that as long as I have not yet completed the 7 years to life process, that I still have a lot of points to face/consider daily within writing myself to freedom.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish the process to be over because of the difficulties i sometimes find myself in finding specific points to write about within my daily self-forgiveness application, whereas I sometimes wallow within my mind in order to find a specific point to write about, instead of realising that the very act of "wallowing within my mind to find points to consider" is a point within and as itself that is in need of attention and correction through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself when comes the time to face a new point which seems ambiguous to me, such as the point of "hitting a wall" that I am currently facing within and as myself, instead of realising that the very ambiguosity that I experience is a point to consider within writing myself to freedom, through the application of the tools given by Desteni of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application which helps me build self-trust, self-intimacy and self-love which are the basic foundations upon which CHANGE will become REAL.



i forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within the process of finding points to write about, wherein I would go and have a look at what other Destonians have written in their blog so as to give me external inspiration, instead of trusting whatever is occuring within and as myself internally, within a given moment, as points that are asking for self-correction through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-honesty.



I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that the state of mind I am in within any given moment, is an ambiguous point which can be transformed into a specific point to consider writing about within the tools of writing myself to freedom through the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship ambiguosity/vagueness as being the nature of me, wherein I would deliberately define my beingness as something which is ambigous and vague because of having associated myself within my past, as being the very essence of the present moment which can never be defined within an absolute definition because of the very nature of the present as being always CHANGING, within which a specific definition can never be true because of the fact that as soon as I define a moment to be as such, the next moment will bring about a new perspective/definition that will force myself to redefine the present - within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that within the act of redefining the moment, from within the perspective of the present moment as never being alike the previous moment, exists new specific points to consider as the new and ever changing definition of the present.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously look at the number of words I express through the application of writing myself to freedom, so as to verify/judge if my application is good enough to be published because of having associated a good post as being a post which have at least 1000 words written in contrast to a bad post which is a post which has less than 1000 words written - within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the polarities of the mind, as the game of writing a "good post" versus writing a "bad post", where I would deliberately write "more" whenever I would write a post about a specific point that I am considering within a moment, in order that I would reach the definition of a "good post" even if I have nothing left to write about within a given moment of written application - within this, i forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am participating within the polarity games of the mind, such as the game of gaining positive energy through me attaining the self-defined definition of "being good" - such as writing a post which has at least 1000 words - versus the self-defined definition of "being bad" - such as writing a post which has less than 1000 words.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the "number of words written game" when writing posts about my process or when writing about any other subject that I desire, because of having been imprinted/conditionned throughout my formative years - school years - to reach a specific number of words per document so as to make my documents valid as an accepted evaluation by my teachers, which is the act of writing in self-dishonesty because of wanting to write only to reach a specific number of words, rather than writing from the starting point of self-honesty through me writing about what is relevant to any given point/subject which is being faced and sticking to the relevancy of what is written alone, instead of writing only to fill the empty spaces with irrelevant words - within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to "re-program" my impressions/conditionnings concerning the act of writing within itself, through the application of the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to REDEFINE who I am within the act/application of writing so that it becomes the unconditionnal expression of myself as myself, where the number of words written becomes irrelevant and where the expression of myself as self-honesty as what is relecant becomes the only relevant aspect to consider.



I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become an example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.



If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “hitting a wall” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that I always have a point to self-forgive myself about and that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.



When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of doubt as the thought of “I don’t know what to write about”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the doubt arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the doubt game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in doubt as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.



I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about doubting myself through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.



I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the fear of judgment and stop judgment within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.





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