I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the
energies of the universe to my own advantage as self-interest, within the
perspective that the practice of meditation would empower me to use the
energies of the cosmos, wherein I believed that the amount of energy available
in the universe was limitless and was my/our birthright, wherein each and every
one who would want to use this available and limitless source of energy would
be free to do so at the condition of “knowing” how to obtain that limitless
source of energy, wherein I believed that my meditation practices was me “knowing”
how to obtain/gain that energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to push/force myself within my mind, through the
generation/creation of friction within and as my mind as the consumption of
physicality – as the movement from the negative, to the neutral and to the
positive energies - as I was motivated by the belief that energy was my true
self/identity and that my goal in life was to accumulate as much energy as
possible so that I could become a “special being” which would be able to “guide
others” to our “true identity” and thus our freedom – within this, I forgive
myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that energy is not
our true identity, as energy is finite and can never stand the test of time
within eternity/infinity, but that our true identity is the physical as
physicality as all as one as equal as life as that which stands the test of
time into eternity/infinity as substance as life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise,
from within the experiences of me having “high amounts of energy” within the
perspective of me acquiring and gaining those high amounts of energy through meditative
practices focussing solely on the act of acquiring/gaining as much energy as
possible from the cosmos, that the method of acquiring those amounts of energy
was always one and the same, meaning that the levels of high energy experienced
was always the result/fruit of my constant and continuous friction with physicality
as who I really am as life and not the result of me sucking energy from the
cosmos as energy through my meditative practices – within this, I forgive
myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was burning
and burning and burning who I really was/am as physicality as life through me
acquiring/building excessive amounts of energy, thus abusing myself as who I
truly am as the physical, only so that I could experience myself as being “more
than” who I really was/am as life which was a deception that I was deliberately
participating in because of the “rewards” as “positive energy” that would be
gained from such practices – all of which blinded me from the truth of myself
as who I really was/am as physicality as all as one as equal as Life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to
the common sense within and as me as the words of who I truly am as physicality
which told me to STOP within the first experiences of me experiencing myself as
having/generating/burning excessively high amounts of energy, from within which
I believed myself as being/becoming a “purifier for existence”, within that the
energy that I experienced within myself was so “extreme” that I started to believe
that I was “special” and that the energy that was contained within and as my
mind was able to “change the world” because of the perception of it being “pure”
and thus, could “purify/change” the world, instead of realising that the only thing
that this acquirement of high energy would do as consequence, was to further my
enslavement within and as the mind as the mind consciousness system through the
participation of the charging and discharging of positive energies within and
as my mind and within and as this entire existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want
to become a “special being” because of the desire/motivation/want to make
myself “special” in the eyes of others, wherein I would develop meditative
practices that would generate as much friction as possible within my mind in
order to generate as much positive energy as possible so that I could, through
the veil of the accumulated energy as positivity, manipulate people into thinking/believing
that I was “special” and “illuminated” and that I could change/save the world
for the better through me changing the energies all around me through my mere
presence alone, from within which I perceived myself has being able to bring
about a new world through the purification of the energies all around me,
because of the “purity of energies” that I was able to canalise through my
meditation sessions, as I then saw myself as being a “great purifier” which
purpose was to purify the energies of the ether so that positivity could reign
within this world.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise
that the truth of me was being blinded by my desires of becoming a “great purifier”,
whereas my desires of attaining/getting/gathering as much positive energy as
possible blinded me from what was right HERE in front of me as the actual real
identity of myself, which was simply as being equal and one with the physical
as all as one as equal as life - but that my desires of being/becoming “someone
more than what was obviously here as myself” blinded me from the actual real
living of myself and isolated myself further within the polarity/games of the
mind, from within which my enslavement to consciousness was blissfully made ignorant
to my awareness because of my stubbornness to see myself as a “special being”
which was “enlightened” and thus was “more than others” because of the beLIEf
that I was fundamentally a being made of energy/light, which was a mindfuck
that I forced myself to believe because of wanting/desiring to make me “more
than” what I perceived myself as being such as this “small” physical body/being.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that
the “positive energies” that was my inner experience of myself after having spent
numerous amounts of time practicing meditation for the sole purpose of
gaining/acquiring/charging as most energy as possible, was generated in all
ways through the continuous friction between what I believed myself as being a
being of energy, and what I truly was as equality and oneness as the
physicality, wherein the charging/generation of positive energy came through
the friction continuously exercised through the consumption of physicality/my
physical body which resulted in the high amounts of positive energy that was
experienced within the confines of my mind alone – within this, I forgive myself
that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experiences of
myself as having high amounts of energy, only came through the friction as the
burning of substance as physicality, all of which would only result in me
burning myself down over and over and over again, until my physical body could
not endure it anymore, whereas I would then eventually experience myself as
being “depressive” and “physically feeble” because of having burned enormous quantities
of substance for the sole benefit of my mind’s self-interest to which I then
believed as being my own – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe that “who I am” was the fabric of the mind as
energy, instead of realising that “who I am” has and will always be HERE as the
physical as physicality as all as one as equal as Eternal Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind,
within my meditative practices, to engulf the universe in order to “capture” as
much energy as possible in order to “funnel” this energy towards and within my physical
body, so that I could become a living example of a deity as the manifestation
of a spiritual being coming from the high spheres of the spiritual hierarchies.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that through me expressing myself within and as this “high energy
accumulation”, that I was thus a living example of a deity instead of realising
that who I was within and as the expression of myself as “high energy
accumulation” was not the living example of a deity, but rather the living
manifestation of a demonised entity as myself which only acted for the sole
purpose of its self-interest as the experience of positivity as itself, instead
of realising that the true living example of life is that of the physical
expressing itself as the physical, without no participation within energy as
positivity/neutrality/negativity as the mind, whereas the stopping of the
energies as the mind comes through the practice of writing, self-forgiveness,
self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that one can change from being
enslaved to the systems of the mind as energy, to being freed as the expression
of life which is equal and one as physicality as all as one as equal as Life =
not energetically driven at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume
physicality through the projection of myself within and as the
universe/cosmos/creation as that of funnelling/condensing/charging the energies
of the cosmos towards and within my human physical body, because of the desire
to be a god unto myself and this world so that I could create a new world which
would be better than the world that I then experienced as myself – wherein I desired
changing the state of the world through the powers of my mind/energies alone,
because of the belief that my origin was that of energy and that through me
realigning myself with the origin of myself as energy, that I would/could thus be
able to “manipulate/change” the energies of the world so that the energies of
the cosmos could change the state of the world through me for the better,
whereas I then perceived myself as being a medium of higher cosmic energies/consciousness
that would/could change the energies of the world so that a new and better
world could be made manifest on this earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that
my origin as the core of my being was that of energy, because of having read
the testimonies of a man who had a near death experience from within which it
was revealed to him that we were made of energies, instead of realising the
common sense in the fact that who I was/am as the origin of myself could/can
only be equal and one with all living beings instead of being “unique” and “special”
and “different” such as the state of my mind when within the “high conglomerate”
of energies within and as my mind alone, and thus that the common sense origin
of myself as all as one as equal can only be the physical as substance as Life,
Equal and One with all living beings and not the mind as positive, neutral and
negative energy experiences of the physical.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate
within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high
energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that
as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high
energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept
and allow myself to participate within energy as “low
energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which
I absolutely do not want to experience any more.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective
application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living
example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for
the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone,
Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through
the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind
myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for
it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire
as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop,
breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and
Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from
the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation
in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself
back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about
desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and
emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and
games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could
be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back
into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing,
self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the
desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself
unconditionally for the first time.
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