lundi 28 mai 2012

7 years journey to life: Day 19: Redifining Arrogance



Today I want to do something different within my blog. I will specifically have a look at the word “Arrogance” and how it plays out within and as me – how I am currently living the word, what definitions and values I have attached to it. In the end of the blog, I will write self-corrective statements to correct my living expression of this word, so that It would reflect a new definition that is best for all.

I will use a technique that has just recently come to my awareness through the Earth’s journey to life blog, to which has come to my awareness through the reading of a destonian’s blog which have applied the practice. The technique essentially consists of the act of redefining words so that they would reflect a new definition within and as self, as the starting point of change as the words that self uses in order to create this reality, one word/action at a time. Through the application of various methods which are described in the Earth’s journey to life blog, one is able to redefine words that one uses as self-expression so that the word may be free of any polarised charges. For more information on this particular technique and how you can apply it to yourself, just follow the following links:

1) Day 4: Redefining words - Part 1
2) Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) - Playing polarity games
3) Day 6: Redefining words (Part 3) – Experience of the Polarity game
4) Day 7: Redefining Words (Part 4)- Redefining words as living words
5) Day 8 - Redefining words (Part 5) - How to redefine words – Gathering Information stage
6) Day9: Redefining Words (Part 6) How to redefine words – Investigate the word

1. Gathering Information stage

a) Establishing Self’s Allocation point:
I always perceived this word as being a word that would place the one receiving the word in a “upper” or “greater than” position in relationship to the one giving the word out. Within my personal experiences with this word, the giving aspect of this word mostly manifests itself within “backchat” where I internally tell myself “he/she is so arrogant” as reactions towards the words/actions/deeds that another directed unto myself. On occasions where I have expressed this word outwardly, such as when I would perceive the behaviour of a sports player that I didn’t approve, I would yell out “I ate him because he is arrogant” within which I would experience myself as being “less than” the being I would define as such. What strikes me now is that I have mostly used this word within the enclosure of my mind as backchat – not having expressed it outwards that many times towards others. Thus, the giving out of the word “arrogance” is mostly done unto myself within and as my mind, thereby being at the same time, the receiver and the giver of the word “arrogance”. When I am at the receiving end of this word, such as when another tells me that I am arrogant, I usually experience myself as feeling conflicted between the negative charges and the positive charges that are culturally associated with this word. On the positive charge, I then see myself as being “greater than” the person telling me that I am arrogant, because I have associated this word with the state of being “overly confident” or of having “greater confidence” in relationship with another. On the negative charge, I simultaneously see myself as not being a “good person” because of the negative associations I have made towards and within the word arrogant – I do not see myself as being a good person because of having seen arrogant people as being individuals who act for their sole self-interests without any care whatsoever for the consequences of their actions towards others. Thus, either by me being the one giving or receiving the word arrogance, the one constant is that this word generates friction within and as myself which manifests as a feeling of being conflicted between the positive charges of the word – I am greater, more confident than the other – and the negative charges of the word – I am not a good caring person towards the other.

b) Dictionary Definition:

Definition of ARROGANCE:
(1) An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
(2) An insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people

c) Sounding of the word - Arrogance:

“Arror Gance” = Error Glanced – where one glances at a behaviour which is a fundamental error between human’s assessment of each other. When one asses someone as being “arrogant”, one is committing an error of human judgment through perceiving another at a glance, without taking into consideration all aspects which motivates their behaviour. One is arrogant when one acts without full consideration of one’s action – acting at a glance rather than acting as awareness.

2. Investigating the information of the word that has been gathered :
Determining whether the definition within the different aspects that I have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is made “good”/”positive” or “bad”/”negative”)?

a) My own personal experience with the word arrogance:

As I was growing up in this world – as a child – I never really was introduced to this word as it wasn’t a word that I was accustomed at using or seeing. Although in retrospect, I have seen behaviours which I would now describe as being arrogant, I wasn’t then aware that the behaviours that I was witnessing represented arrogance. I generally saw arrogance as the natural behaviour of my father, however not seeing him as being arrogant per say, but rather confident as the authority figure in our household. Within the fact that the word arrogance wasn’t present within my vocabulary as I was growing up, I can still say however that I have experienced the meaning of the word in some particular instances later on within my formative years. One particular experience that I remember where I was at the giving end of arrogance came as I was a teenager. I remember that I was constantly teased by other classmates whom presented themselves as being “more than me”. The way that they would claim that they were “more than me” concerned that they would present themselves as “having more than me”, through games of comparisons and competitions where I was perceived as being the “loser” and them the “winners”. They would allow themselves to bully me through giving themselves the allowances to treat me as if I was “less than them” because I accepted and allowed seeing myself as being “less than” them. I remember that some of the factors which played out in my mind to which they and I used in order to determine that I was “less than them” was the fact that I have brown skin and that I was skinny looking as I was growing up. We both used these facts as determining factors from within which we gave ourselves the statuses of the bully and the bullied. I remember that I was afraid of being left alone with them because of the ways that they would treat me, such as pinning me against my locker and calling me derogative names. Later on in my life, I started using the word arrogance when I perceived within another’s behaviour, the same traits that I have associated with those who bullied me as I was a teenager. Specifically, the traits which brought me to judge another as being arrogant revolved around one’s facial expression. When I would see someone look at me or look at someone else with eyes and smile that would make me reminisce those who bullied me, I would judge them as being arrogant within which I would experience myself as the same feeling that I experienced when I was bullied, which was the feeling of being “less than another”. Even when I was at the receiving end of the word arrogance, as was the case when another would call me arrogant – as it was the case a few times when I was within a competitive activity with a friend – I still generally experienced myself as being negatively charged within and as myself. The only few times when I didn’t experience a negatively charged reaction within myself through another calling me arrogant came when I was actually seeing myself as being “more than others”. Such instances generally came when I experienced manic episodes – a symptom of my condition of being bipolar – or when I actually felt as being the “winner” in front of another. So basically the word arrogance was mostly negatively charged throughout my lifetime.

b) Self-Forgiveness on the word arrogance :

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear arrogance within the belief that I am always on the giving end of the word arrogance within the relationship with another – from within which I experience myself as being negatively charged, or “less than” another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as being “less than another” whenever I hear the word arrogance through me still holding onto the negatively charged experiences that I lived as I was a teenager in this world, where I was regularly bullied by others through our tacitly agreed upon statuses as the bully and the bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “less than” those who present themselves as “having more than” me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am now is a manifestation that is emerging from the starting point of separation and thus, everything I do and say supports separation which means that I cannot do freely what I want but instead I have to take self-responsibility in establishing myself within the directive principle of living what’s best for all within the realization that I am not separate from anyone or anything else but am one and equal to all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “less than” another because of the tone of my skin or the appearance of my being and through this, having blamed life and myself for the predicament that I am in within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and life as my physical body for the judgments of others towards me – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the judgments that others have against me are the same judgments that I have against myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against my physical body and life in general for having given me the physical attributes which others use in order to make them “more than me” through the act of arrogance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into hiding within my mind whenever I hear/see someone who is behaving in ways which are arrogant and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to act as CHANGE in my behaviour whenever I am in the presence of someone who express the traits of arrogance towards me or someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself against the behaviour of someone who exhibits arrogant traits because of the underlying belief that the person is right in his ways of arrogance because of me seeing them as being “more than me” and me seeing myself as being “less than them”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being “less than” those who exhibit traits of arrogance – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep silent whenever I experience the feeling of being “less than” another which allows the abuse to continue through arrogance.

c) New definition:

Arrogance is the behaviour of someone who is acting without consideration of the consequences of its actions towards others as itself. A person is arrogant – Error Again - when it expresses behaviours which are based on the perceived possessions of that person as being “more than” those of another, which is an error that is repeating itself as long as the person participates within games of “winners/haves” and “losers/have nots”.

d) Self-corrective statements in how I practically will walk the stoppage of arrogance within me

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the "arrogance" – Error Glanced - pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of arrogance "I am more than another" or “I am less than another”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the arrogance arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the arrogance game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in arrogance as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.


I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about "arrogance" through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to stop “glancing” at the behaviour of another and from there, stop judging another according to a “glance” without the consideration of all of the person’s past within my perception of another.

I commit myself to stop using arrogance in front of another, as the act of perceiving myself as “having more than” or “being more than” another, while basing my perception on what separates me from another, such as what I have that the other does not, rather than perceiving me as that which is equal and one with another, as the physical as life.

I commit myself to stop looking at the possessions of another in my assessment of another.

I commit myself to stop any and all experiences of wanting more than I can handle where within that I first stand in complete clarity within myself and my immediate environment.

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