Today, I've had a conversation about god with some of my co-workers at the place where I am currently doing my intership. The conversation came about after we had discussed about "our beliefs structure" concerning the end of the world, as we were analysing an article that appeared in the local newspaper this morning stating that the world was going to end this next saturday. The conversation then started by and through my supervisor asking me what I believed about "god" and about the "afterlife". What then occured within myself, was a movement of disturbance which started swelling up from within my being, as I saw this as an opportunity to "talk about the destonian message" to those with whom I share my daily life with. Now, I have to state that the field of work where I am currently busy doing an internship at - and only because I need to make money in this world - doesn't allow me to speak about what I stand for in a regular basis, as my time is consumed by a task from which I constantly receive pressure to complete for my "superiors". Thus, I do not have much opportunities to let my self express myself from the perspective of a context which is broader than the limited context from within which we work.
Thus, there was a point within me - as a point which had accumulated an energetic buildup - that emerged from within the opportunity that was presented to me to talk about what I "believed in" in relation to "god" and the "afterlife" since the subject was brought up after we discussed about the article that appeared in the local newspaper. That point came about as the direct consequence of me nurrishing within my mind the thought of sharing the destonian message. Throughout all the times where I was forced to behave and express myself in limited matter due to the "socialised structure" from within which I regurlarly find myself in - as the "socialised structure" found within the environment of a job in this world - I nurrished the thought of finding the opportunity to talk to those with whom I casually share my daily existance with, about the destonian message. Thus, when the opportunity came today to finally share about what I perceived life as being from within a scope which was graeter than the scope of the "technical conversations" we regularly find ourselves in, I got caught within the buildup of energy that I have accumulated throughout time. What occurred within me at that moment, was that I felt this energetic movement from within me as a movement which constricted my expression towards directions that held me captive within a labyrinth of limitations.
I was so overwhelmed by the opportunity that presented itself to me, that I couldn't see clearly within that specific moment, as i was caught within the desire to share to others about a perspective of common sense in relation to the article about the end of the world. As I was talking, I wanted to stop talking and tell others that I wasn't fit to talk about that subject for the moment, as I sensed that I was "not myself" within that moment and that the words that came out of my mouth, rather reflected the energetic coumpound of energy as what I have allowed myself to become instead of who I am as life as the physical. For a moment, I lost myself as I wanted too much to speak about the destonian message through the opportunity that was presented to me. Seeing and realsing that my words were then disaligned, I saw within myself - as I was speaking to others - that this conversation would lead nowhere as I was not standing as life but was standing as the personality that I have created as this energetic compound. Rather than applying myself to stop right then and there, I allowed myself to continue speaking until the energetic movements within my being resided, as I foresaw that I would be better fit to speak about "desteni" at the point where the energetic movements within myself would subdue. However, when that point of "calmness" arrieved, those around me lost interest in the conversation and started talking about the work that needed to be done at that moment. Seeing then that it wasn't the proper opportunity to continue to talk about the "destonian message", I went back to the task at hand and left the subject matter of "god and the afterlife" go.
Thus, there was a point within me - as a point which had accumulated an energetic buildup - that emerged from within the opportunity that was presented to me to talk about what I "believed in" in relation to "god" and the "afterlife" since the subject was brought up after we discussed about the article that appeared in the local newspaper. That point came about as the direct consequence of me nurrishing within my mind the thought of sharing the destonian message. Throughout all the times where I was forced to behave and express myself in limited matter due to the "socialised structure" from within which I regurlarly find myself in - as the "socialised structure" found within the environment of a job in this world - I nurrished the thought of finding the opportunity to talk to those with whom I casually share my daily existance with, about the destonian message. Thus, when the opportunity came today to finally share about what I perceived life as being from within a scope which was graeter than the scope of the "technical conversations" we regularly find ourselves in, I got caught within the buildup of energy that I have accumulated throughout time. What occurred within me at that moment, was that I felt this energetic movement from within me as a movement which constricted my expression towards directions that held me captive within a labyrinth of limitations.
I was so overwhelmed by the opportunity that presented itself to me, that I couldn't see clearly within that specific moment, as i was caught within the desire to share to others about a perspective of common sense in relation to the article about the end of the world. As I was talking, I wanted to stop talking and tell others that I wasn't fit to talk about that subject for the moment, as I sensed that I was "not myself" within that moment and that the words that came out of my mouth, rather reflected the energetic coumpound of energy as what I have allowed myself to become instead of who I am as life as the physical. For a moment, I lost myself as I wanted too much to speak about the destonian message through the opportunity that was presented to me. Seeing and realsing that my words were then disaligned, I saw within myself - as I was speaking to others - that this conversation would lead nowhere as I was not standing as life but was standing as the personality that I have created as this energetic compound. Rather than applying myself to stop right then and there, I allowed myself to continue speaking until the energetic movements within my being resided, as I foresaw that I would be better fit to speak about "desteni" at the point where the energetic movements within myself would subdue. However, when that point of "calmness" arrieved, those around me lost interest in the conversation and started talking about the work that needed to be done at that moment. Seeing then that it wasn't the proper opportunity to continue to talk about the "destonian message", I went back to the task at hand and left the subject matter of "god and the afterlife" go.
This event has showed to me just how important it is to be clear within myself before allowing myself to speak through the filters of emotions and energetic movements. When the desire to tell others what desteni is arise as my thoughts about others - I stop - I breathe, I see the pattern, where it arise and how it will play out - I stop the thoughts and I do not act based on the thoughts - I breathe until the energy passes. I rather look at myself, what the point is that I would life to talk to others, look at my reaction towards them/the point, and see wehre that same point is existing within and as my own life or why it is that I am reacting to that point which I am seeing.
I will not allow myself to speak about points which generate energetic movements within my being until I am clear within and as my being.
I will not allow myself to speak about points which generate energetic movements within my being until I am clear within and as my being.
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